


Unfair Love

by ToBeUnmasked



Category: Monsta X (Band), No.MERCY (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Crossover Pairings, Edgeplay, Established Relationship, M/M, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smut, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, end pairings a surprise, mentions of showho, not everybody has a soulmate, other pairings a surprise - Freeform, this is a mess, this may or may not cause problems later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2018-08-23 07:42:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8319541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToBeUnmasked/pseuds/ToBeUnmasked
Summary: Every year on October twenty-second the two of them stayed locked away from the world outside of their shared apartment. It was a promise that they had made each other as teenagers, to protect Jooheon on this date of each year, and to shelter him from any stranger he may potentially meet. This was the date scrolled across the left side of his chest, just a few inches below his collarbone in an unfamiliar hand. He cursed the permanent mark and wished to never find the person with a matching date in his own handwriting.





	1. One Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some warnings that I would like to throw out concerning future chapters, but due to my pure hatred for spoilers I'm going to wait and tag on any further warnings and such with each new chapter as stuff actually starts happening. I would like to apologize in advance for any unpleasant surprises that later chapters might bring due to this decision. -cackles evily-  
> Anyway, here's the first chapter. Enjoy!  
> DISCLAIMER: I don't own Monsta X, their songs, the members, etc. I'm just a fan that likes gay stuff and writing.

The rain pelted down from a melancholy sky, washing the fallen leaves of autumn down an empty street. A honey-haired male watched silently as droplets speckled and streaked down a smudged window in the living room of a small apartment. He could feel the pair of eyes locked on his back from across the room, could almost hear the racing thoughts of the owner as he no doubt, wracked his brain for the right thing to say or do to try to calm Jooheon's nerves.

"C'mon, man. You're bumming me out," Gunhee said with an awkward chuckle as he stood and approached his boyfriend from behind. Jooheon felt a warm hand lay on his shoulder, fingers giving a gentle, brief squeeze before moving upwards to weave into his hair and massage his scalp in a soothing and affectionate manner. "Nothing's gonna happen. I'll answer the door," he assured.

Every year on October twenty-second the two of them stayed locked away from the world outside of their shared apartment. It was a promise that they had made each other as teenagers, to protect Jooheon on this date of each year, and to shelter him from any stranger he may potentially meet. This was the date scrolled across the left side of his chest, just a few inches below his collarbone in an unfamiliar hand. He cursed the permanent mark and wished to never find the person with a matching date in his own handwriting. The idea that such a person existed terrified and sickened him.

Growing up, his parents had always insisted on celebrating his souldate, like most people tended to do. It was something akin to a birthday to majority, something to be proud of and celebrated annually amongst family and friends-- and eventually your soulmate, who's souldate matched yours. There were those that rejected soulmates however, and would often refuse to leave their homes on the special dates found over their hearts. These people, not unlike Jooheon, believed that something as personal as love should not be predetermined, and that the decision should be left to each individual, who they wish to spend the rest of their lives with.

 _Twenty-Second, October_. If there is a God he is cruel. A date excluding the year, making it all the more difficult to avoid your supposedly inevitable fate. And to take the unfairness even further, there were those who wished with all of their hearts to meet their soulmate, but would never obtain their mark. Some were born with their souldate already on their chests, while others would obtain them in their early years of life. The explanation for this is that the oldest of a pair would gain their mark when their soulmate was born, the younger of the two being born with the date.

Most marks showed up within a person’s first ten years of life, but there were rare cases in which a souldate wouldn’t reveal itself until teen years. If a person reached the age of twenty-one and still lacked a mark, it was considered a birth defect, and probable that their souldate would never come. There was a name given to these people. To some it was a horrible insult that should never pass a respectable person’s lips. To others it was just a label, a name for the defect.

 _Soulless_. Over the years it had lost its original meaning; without a mark you have no soulmate, and many believed that this also meant that you had no soul. Though, derogative as it still was to some, it became an average word often used in everyday conversation to refer to those without souldates. Gunhee was soulless.

He was officially diagnosed with the defect over a year ago, now being almost five months into his twenty-second year of life. He and Jooheon had grown up together and had been best friends since childhood. The younger of the two had already long since had his mark when Gunhee first met him. _“My parents told me I got it when I was a year, three months, and twenty days old, exactly… They were pretty excited about it, I guess,”_ Jooheon had explained indifferently sometime in their teens during a conversation started by an obviously anxious Gunhee. It was around the time the both of them started to get the feeling that Gunhee’s souldate would never come.    

So, around the age of fifteen Jooheon had proposed that they both forget about soulmates and date each other, even if Gunhee’s souldate did eventually reveal itself. _“We’re perfect together, and I know you feel the same.”_ Even though he knew from the start that the main reason Jooheon had asked him out in the first place was to rebel against his own fate, Gunhee had agreed. Gunhee knew that Jooheon did genuinely care for him, and he loved the younger with all of his heart, but he knew that if Jooheon were to ever meet his soulmate there would be no stopping the attraction. Even Jooheon wouldn’t be able to fight it.

It was the same year that they started dating when they decided to _protect_ Jooheon. It had been his own wish, but Gunhee didn’t exactly try to talk his boyfriend out of it. It was partially out of selfish intent that he aided in hiding Jooheon away each year. Gunhee knew that the other would live a significantly happier life if he could be with his true soulmate, and he knew that the day would come when he would have to let Jooheon go for that very reason, but not yet. Just… not yet.

“Jooheonie~” the older attempted to get his attention again, tugging lightly at the soft brown locks his fingers were currently knitted into to get the other man’s attention. Jooheon frowned deeper and brought a hand up to catch Gunhee’s in his hair.

“But what if this is it? What if the delivery person is my soulmate?” Jooheon finally spoke, a whine clinging to his voice and his eyes still locked on the world outside. “They just have to see me. That’s it.” At this, Gunhee rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Then go to another room. I said I would answer the door.” Jooheon turned then, pulling Gunhee’s hand from his hair and weaving their fingers together as his eyes met those of his lover. He was worried. Gunhee couldn’t blame him, Jooheon could tell that he was feeling a bit uneasy too.

Normally they were much more careful than this. They made sure to have everything that they would need for the day so that neither of them would have to leave the apartment. Though it was most vital that Jooheon not step foot outside, they also preferred to not leave him alone-- just in case. Fate was a scary thing and it seemed to be against them, so taking unnecessary risks was out of the question.

That being said, they had to eat, and by some twist of their detestable fate they had neglected to plan out a meal for the day and lacked ingredients to make anything suitable. Sure, eating nothing but junk food and starving for just one day probably wouldn’t kill them, but in the end it had been decided that they would order takeout and Gunhee would answer the door. Still, Jooheon didn’t like the idea of having a stranger so much as glance at their apartment on this day, let alone have someone walk right up to the door.

“Don’t even hint that someone else is here,” Jooheon muttered with a scowl, dropping Gunhee’s hand and walking past him towards the bedroom. “And if anything happens I’m blaming you. I said I could just find something here to eat. This was your idea.” Gunhee chuckled, quite used to the younger’s whiny, and sometimes grumpy attitude.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said as he turned to follow the other. “But you know…” Jooheon had stopped in the doorway of the bedroom and remained facing away from the elder, Gunhee also stopping where he stood a few feet behind him. “I don’t think we have anything to worry about. Even if you met your soulmate you wouldn’t fall in love with them, because you already have the coolest, most perfect boyfriend in existence~” He winked and made a shooting gun motion towards Jooheon, who obviously (thankfully) couldn’t see the action since he was still facing away.

The younger man smiled despite himself, deep, crater-like dimples peeking out from each cheek. He wouldn’t go so far as to call his boyfriend the coolest -- or even remotely cool, if he were being honest -- but he was perfect. Gunhee was perfect to him, and Jooheon couldn’t imagine anyone being better suited for him, so how could he ever accept anyone else as his soulmate? God had made a mistake. His soulmate was standing right behind him.

“You’re… really lame. You know that, right?” Jooheon clarified as he turned slightly to hitch a brow at Gunhee in judgement, but the smile spread across his lips revealed only the strongest fondness. The older smiled back and approached Jooheon, giving him a quick peck on the corner of his mouth as he walked past him and into the bedroom to sit on the edge of the bed, patting the spot to the left of him in invitation. Jooheon followed him in and sat down next to him, and Gunhee took his hand and locked their fingers together. They stared at each other for a moment, eyes wandering and seeming to study, taking in every feature.

When Jooheon inched in a little closer Gunhee met him and closed the space the between them, the younger sighing into the sudden kiss. Their lips effortlessly moved together in perfect, familiar harmony, and when Jooheon’s lips parted and their tongues met all worries and conflict melted away. They were both so lost in each other that they almost missed the buzzing of the doorbell. Jooheon pulled away with a displeased groan and Gunhee sighed deeply, trying to calm his slightly quickened breath and heart rate before standing. He smiled down at the still seated Jooheon, then walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Jooheon listened to the short exchange, releasing a held breath in relief when he heard the two utter a polite goodbye, then the front door closed. He waited on the bed for Gunhee to return to the room and confirm that they were in the clear. He heard the other place the food on the counter in the small kitchen, then a moment later Gunhee reentered the room. Before Jooheon could stand the older was suddenly hovering over him, their lips meeting again.

“The delivery guy was really hot,” Gunhee said when he broke the brief kiss. “If he happened to be your soulmate, you totally would have left me for him.” Jooheon frowned.

“You have no faith in me at all, do you?” he accused. A serious expression washed over Gunhee’s face then, his hand coming up to press against the younger’s chest, fingers splaying over the t-shirt covering his mark. Jooheon knew Gunhee better than anyone. He was so familiar with the man he could almost read his thoughts just by looking him in the eye. _Why can’t it be me?_

His heart ached at the thought. He knew Gunhee’s greatest wish was for them to somehow be soulmates, and nothing brought him more pain than knowing that it was never meant to be from the start. But that had never stopped them before, and they never planned to give up in the future, either. Soulmates and matching souldates-- who gave a fuck? What really mattered was true love, and Jooheon and Gunhee didn’t need matching marks to prove that their love for each other was true.

Jooheon placed his hand softly over Gunhee’s, then leaned up to kiss him again. It took the older a second to react, obviously still deep in thought, but soon he was returning the affection tenfold. This kiss was more passionate, becoming heated rather quickly as Gunhee brought a knee up to rest on the bed between Jooheon’s thighs. Jooheon could feel the hand on his chest gently pushing, coaxing him to lay back.

“What-- about-- the food,” the younger asked between kisses, already sounding out of breath.

“Are you hungry?”

“Not really… not at the moment. But won’t it get cold?”

“We can just heat it up later.” And finally Jooheon gave in and allowed himself to be pushed back, adjusting and moving up the bed, Gunhee following suit and laying overtop him. Jooheon let out a soft noise, close to a whimper as he was pressed into the mattress by the other’s weight. Their bodies fit perfectly together, moved perfectly together as they continued their kiss where they had left off. Hands wandered and tugged at clothes, shirts being pulled off and tossed blindly across the room where they lay crumpled on the floor and forgotten in their momentary insignificance.

“Gun-ah~” A soft moan slipped past Jooheon’s lips as he felt a hand start palming him through his jeans. His back arched slightly and his hips pressed up into the hand hoping for more friction against his growing hardness. Gunhee’s mouth was at his jaw now, peppering the skin with soft kisses and nips. Jooheon’s head fell back against a pillow with a groan, fully exposing his neck to Gunhee who sucked along his throat and pulse-point, leaving small bruises in his wake.

Gunhee knew exactly how to work Jooheon, every little trick that made him squirm and writhe. They both knew each other’s bodies better than anyone else ever could. As the older slowly worked his way down to Jooheon’s torso he popped the button on his lover’s pants and slowly pulled the zipper down. When Gunhee pressed his lips to a sensitive nipple and sucked softly rolling it between his teeth, his hand slipped into Jooheon’s pants, almost too gently rubbing his erection through his underwear as the younger watched him with lust-filled eyes. Jooheon was now painfully hard and even the thin fabric of his briefs separating his cock from Gunhee’s hand was entirely too much.

Gunhee released the nub once he felt satisfied with how erect and red it was, then slowly began working his way down again with soft kisses and licks in all of the right places, this time sliding the other’s pants and underwear down as he went. He nuzzled Jooheon’s abdomen, just shy of his manhood. Then he smirked and glanced up to watch Jooheon fall apart as he took the throbbing appendage into his mouth, sinking down about halfway before settling back at the head and sucking harshly, tongue pressing against the sensitive glans. Gunhee’s hands slid back up the younger’s torso to idly explore the expanse of exposed skin, occasionally brushing over an abused and sensitive nipple. Jooheon was inconsolable, moaning loudly and both of his hands flying up to Gunhee’s head, clinging to his hair.

His thighs trembled as he tried to resist bucking up and forcing himself down his boyfriend’s throat. Gunhee seemed to get the message though, and began bobbing his head, taking a little more in at a time, but at his own pace. It wasn’t that he couldn’t handle taking all of Jooheon in -- he’d had years of practice, deepthroating Jooheon was second nature to him by now -- but he really enjoyed taking his time, drawing things out. He loved showing Jooheon a good time, and Jooheon wasn’t exactly complaining.

Gunhee had a problem of his own though, and it was growing more and more impatient by the second. Every tug at his hair, every breathy, sinful noise that Jooheon released, or every time Jooheon failed to still his hips, accidentally stuttering a half thrust or two up, Gunhee became more desperate for some form of relief for himself. The younger could tell how close the other was to breaking by the sounds he was letting out around Jooheon’s cock, vibrating through him unbearably. Gunhee had now taken all of Jooheon’s length in, swallowing hard around the head. Jooheon hissed and tightened his fists in the older male’s hair.

“Gun-- _fuck_ \-- I’m close.” Gunhee hummed in acknowledgement and Jooheon moaned helplessly. The hot pressure just kept building until it became too much and Jooheon was reaching his threshold, his muscles tensing and his hands dropping from Gunhee’s head to cling desperately at the sheets. But just before Jooheon could release Gunhee pulled back and gripped the base of his cock firmly. The younger let out a frustrated groan as he felt the bliss of his approaching orgasm simmer down, and weakly grabbed the wrist of the hand that was constricting him.

Once Gunhee felt he was safe to do so, he released his hold on Jooheon and sat up, gazing down at the panting mess he called his boyfriend. Jooheon was close to tears, but he _loved_ this. Edging was painful, but he knew that the orgasm that followed would be more than worth it. It was one of his favorite things, being edged by Gunhee. They had, on more than one occasion, spent _hours_ pushing Jooheon to his peak only to deny him of his release, just letting it build and lead up to one earth-shattering orgasm that left him panting and disoriented, but today he was already wound up so tight he was ready for the finale.

Jooheon’s hands ran up the other’s clothed thighs, then clawed their way back down once before rushing back up and hastily unbuttoning and unzipping the older’s pants. Gunhee must have been able to tell that Jooheon didn’t want to draw things out any longer because he aided in removing his pants rather quickly, going ahead and tossing his underwear along with them to join the rest of their clothes scattered around the room. Then they were kissing fiercely, teeth nipping at lips, tongues tangling, breaths coming in quick almost-gasps, as they ground against each other and reveled in the slide of their leaking erections against each other. Gunhee eventually broke the kiss and pushed himself up to reach over and open the drawer of the bedside table, grabbing the lube and a condom. He positioned himself back over Jooheon, straddling his hips now and studied the bottle in his hand with a smirk.

“Running low,” he said with a chuckle as he popped the lid and dropped the condom to the sheets next to him to coat his fingers generously in the smooth, thick substance. Jooheon watched with half-lidded eyes as Gunhee then closed the lid and dropped the bottle down by the condom and positioned himself between Jooheon’s thighs, spreading them further apart with the hand that wasn’t currently covered in lubricant. A pillow was dragged from the top of the bed and placed under Jooheon’s lower back for further comfort and access, then felt two fingers press lightly against his entrance, teasing momentarily before slipping in to the knuckle. Jooheon held himself up on his elbows and watched as he was prepped, Gunhee also watching Jooheon, committing each expression to memory.

When the older of the two added another digit, scissoring to further the stretch, Jooheon bit his lip and whimpered, his dimples peeking out briefly.

“You dimpled at me,” Gunhee accused, twisting his hand and crooking his fingers in just the right way. Jooheon moaned a swear as his arms gave out and he fell back against the bed. One of Gunhee’s favorite things, or so he’d told Jooheon with some enthusiasm, was when those perfect dimples appeared at certain times, accenting certain expressions. When he smiled they were cute, but in situations like this they drove the other absolutely crazy.

Jooheon whined when Gunhee retracted his hand, feeling empty and a little uncomfortable as the lube around his hole began to cool. Gunhee made quick work of tearing open the condom packet with his teeth and rolling it onto his dick, then he grabbed the bottle and poured more lubricant into his hand before closing it and carelessly dropping it off the side of the bed. He slicked his length up, indulging in an extra stroke or two just for himself before wiping his hand off on the sheets, then positioned the head at Jooheon’s waiting orifice. In one slow, but fluid motion he sank in, placing his hands on either side of Jooheon’s head to hold himself over the younger male. Jooheon’s head was thrown back against his pillow, eyes screwed shut and mouth agape with an extended, breathy moan as Gunhee sheathed himself completely.

They worked together to set a pace that was pleasing to the both of them, Jooheon pushing up to meet each of Gunhee’s thrusts. Neither of them would last long, and they both knew it. Jooheon’s legs wrapped around the other’s waist, and his arms coiled around his shoulders, pulling Gunhee down so that they could be closer. Gunhee gasped as he dropped to his elbows, losing rhythm only momentarily before adjusting to the new position and picking the pace up once again, thrusting harder and faster into the dimpled male. Jooheon writhed, face twisting in pure bliss as his boyfriend flawlessly hit the bundle of nerves inside of him with every thrust, sending shocks of white-hot pleasure running through him.

“Jooheon…” Gunhee was close, Jooheon could tell by the occasional stutter of his hips and the way his breathing was becoming more uneven by the second. A hand crept up the nape of Gunhee’s neck to fist into his black hair and he pressed his head back against the hand with a sound somewhere between a groan and a growl. Jooheon loved when the older was vocal. Well honestly, Gunhee was always pretty vocal, but unfortunately Jooheon was even more so and he tended to accidentally drown out most of the other’s sounds with his own.

The pace was becoming frantic, voices louder and slightly higher in pitch, Gunhee reaching between them to pump Jooheon’s leaking cock as he got closer and closer to the edge. He seemed to prefer when Jooheon finished first -- apparently watching the younger come undone beneath him by his hand was what brought Gunhee to a most satisfying end. So, when Jooheon suddenly came with a cry, back arching impressively high off the bed and fingers clawing at the back of Gunhee’s neck and shoulder as his ropes of come covered his chest and stomach, Gunhee was thrown off kilter. Jooheon clenched tightly around him and the eldest moaned something unintelligible, after few final stuttering thrusts spilling into the condom. Once the pulses were through he pulled out, but remained hovered over the other.

Everything was still then, the room silent save for their panting as they both attempted to regain control over their lungs and racing hearts. Gunhee’s eyes were focused on his lover, taking in his blissed-out expression, and Jooheon was doing just the same. There were many things that the two of them shared in common, and one of those things was the love of each other’s post-sex face, knowing that they had been the cause of such a look. The two were incredibly compatible for non-soulmates.

And there it was; that look in Gunhee’s eyes that truly shook Jooheon. His gaze had wracked lovingly over the younger’s still-heaving torso, but froze on his mark.

 _Why can’t it be me?_ Jooheon swore he could hear it every time, and he _hated_ it. He hated that godforsaken date, and he hated the torment that Gunhee attempted to hide, but Jooheon could still see in his eyes. He took the other’s hand and placed it on his chest, effectively covering most of the mark, then placed his hand on top of his lover’s. Gunhee’s eyes met his again and he smiled (dimpled) softly.

“You realize what’s on the skin doesn’t matter, right? It’s what’s beneath the skin that matters. That rhythm that you feel... it’s yours.” To Jooheon some stupid mark that he involuntarily gained on his skin was completely meaningless, but the way his heart beat for Gunhee was _everything_. His eyes still held a sadness that Jooheon guessed would never completely fade, but the smile the older offered in return was warm and full of affection.

“I love you, Jooheonie,” Gunhee said, voice rough and barely above a whisper.

“I love you too, Gun-ah.” Gunhee leaned down then and kissed him, then rested his forehead against Jooheon’s, both wincing slightly at the sweat between them. They were a mess. “Are you hungry?” Jooheon asked suddenly, and Gunhee chuckled and nodded, sitting upright.

“Yeah, but I think we should clean up first,” said Gunhee as he held up a come-covered hand and gestured down to an equally covered tummy and chest. Jooheon agreed and sat up, Gunhee helping him out of bed and into the bathroom where tossed the used condom in a small trashcan and they used the hot spray of the shower to wash away the gross aftermath of a good time. After their shower they both threw on clean clothes, then headed to the kitchen to satisfy their hunger. The remainder of the day was rather uneventful, which suited the both of them just fine. They were contented to cuddle up on the couch and watch t.v. together until midnight hit and the scare was over for the next year.

Now they had nothing to worry about until next October. They could just enjoy being with each other daily and continue living together like the soulmates they knew they should have been. As long as they continued to be cautious nothing would ever come between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is my first upload on AO3. -throws confetti- First off, before we get any further into this train-wreck... Jooheon and Gunhee are my OTP. I love them both beyond any explanation the expanse of my vocabulary could possibly offer, and I'm voluntarily sending myself to the deepest pit of hell for this fic.  
> I have a bad habit of being a lazy piece of shit, so I'm not sure how frequently I will be updating, but thank you for reading the first chapter and I hope the following chapters will be better and longer as I actually make a little progress with the plot.


	2. Soulmates Dissected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mini-chapter of sorts about soulmates and special terms that will appear at random times throughout the fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I've been a complete mess for the past couple of months (Honestly, 2016 as a whole can kiss my sphincter), which is why I haven't updated. I still have a lot going on (and I'm still a lazy piece of shit), but I am currently working on the actual second chapter. In the meantime here’s something basically completely pointless. This mini-chapter explains the dynamics of soulmates in this universe and gives further detail on how it all works. While there is a lot of info that may answer any questions and make the fic read a tad more smoothly, this chapter technically can probably be skipped since most of this will likely be at least lightly mentioned within the actual story at one point or another. But in case anyone’s interested here it is all laid out for ya~

~The Mark~

Soulmates are identified by marks (souldates) on the upper left side of their chests, which correlate with that of the person they are destined to be with. The mark naturally contrasts with skin tone and consists of the date on which a person will meet their soulmate, but does not include the year. An example of the format in which the date appears is:  _ Twenty-Second, October _ . The mark appears in the handwriting of the soulmate it represents. Your mark is also in the native tongue of your soulmate, which makes things pretty interesting if the language that your mark appears in is not one that is native to you. This sort of situation often leads people to learn the foreign language early in life, so that when they do meet their soulmate they don’t have to worry about any social barriers.

 

~Bonding and attachment~

This is the part of the whole soulmate deal that most hiders (those who reject soulmates and attempt to hide away to avoid meeting their own) are put-off by. Before meeting their soulmate a person can date and be with whoever they choose, and are fully capable of falling in love. This complicates things however, when they finally do meet their soulmate. In which case people often still love the person that they were with, but the affection that grows with their soulmate is undeniable and trumps all. 

When you first meet your soulmate the attraction is minimal and usually easily overlooked or ignored. They might cross your mind from time-to-time, but for the most part it doesn’t really affect your daily life. The more time you spend with your soulmate the stronger the attachment becomes. Just talking to them starts the attraction, but it’s slow burning. Over time you will crave their attention, and eventually their touch.

These cravings become stronger and stronger until they are almost unbearable, often leading to a more intimate relationship. The more intimate actions two soulmates share, the faster the attachment and bonding grows. It isn’t unlike a normal relationship, just stronger and absolute. Once you’ve met your soulmate it’s pointless to fight the attraction and try to run away, because one way or another your paths will continue to cross.    

To summarize: Just meeting your soulmate brings occasional thoughts and possibly dreams about them, but the attraction is almost insignificant. Starting a friendship and talking to them more frequently is what starts the domino effect of bonding, eventually leading to wanting more. Any physical contact speeds everything up even further, and sex basically seals the deal. Sleep with your soulmate and your heart will never stray, the connection becoming unbreakable. This fact scares a lot of people, which is what inspires hiders.

 

~Hiders~

Hiders, as I briefly mentioned above, are people who lock themselves away on their souldate each year to avoid meeting their soulmates. Hiders usually aspire to live freely and fall in love at their own discretion, rejecting the idea of soulmates altogether. They disapprove of something predetermined that basically takes control of your life and emotions, believing it to be akin to brainwashing, but for the heart.

 

~Soulless~

While many are still sensitive to the word ‘soulless’ it is the most common term used to describe an adult that never obtained a souldate, and is a diagnoses officially given by early twenties (the exact age differs depending on where you're from). It was originally used to discriminate against those without soulmates, implying that if you don’t have a soulmate you don’t have a soul. While the meaning has changed over the ages and now is rarely used in a derogative manner, it can still be offensive to some. There is no ‘correct’ or scientific term for soulless. 

It is unknown why soullessness occurs, though many believe that the person’s soulmate either died before they were born, or their intended soulmate somehow ended up being someone else’s soulmate. There is no way to actually prove or disprove these theories, and there doesn’t appear to be any substantial data that could connect soulless medically or genetically. For example, a child born from two soulless parents is no more or less likely to also be a soulless. And there aren’t any medical diagnostics or conditions that are a common factor with the majority of soulless. Soullessness is rare and a complete mystery to everyone.

Soulless also tend to face a lot of heartbreak in their life, often times falling in love with someone who has a souldate, but has yet to meet their other half. They will also never know the feeling of soulmate bonding which, more often than not, is their greatest desire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I have this issue where I end up with an entire concept planned out in my head, but I have a tendency to neglect certain details during the execution, so hopefully this mini-chapter will help answer any questions that I accidentally leave open and otherwise unanswered. I hope to have the actual second chapter up soon~


	3. Calm Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID THE THING. I FINALLY FINISHED THE CHAPTER.  
> Thank you for all of the kudos, even though I wasn't updating. It helped push me to get the new chapter up~

Fall and winter had come and gone and spring had arrived, bringing with it a new semester at the college near the Monbébé cafe, where Jooheon worked part time. This seemed to be the busiest season, students often dropping in before and after classes due to the convenience of the cafe’s location, and springtime also promised romance— the warm, sweet atmosphere of the small establishment drawing in young couples in search of a cozy and quiet place for dates. Jooheon had been working at this cafe for a few years now. He started when he was a freshman at the college and could never quite bring himself to leave. He knew the owners well—a kind pair of soulmates who had inherited the business from the older of the two’s parents—and he had formed a closeness with them.

Son Hyunwoo and Shin Hoseok were close with all of the employees and were often present at the cafe working and helping out when things got busy, or simply visiting and hanging out on slow days. They were honestly the best bosses Jooheon could have ever asked for. Since the beginning they had been understanding of his situation with Gunhee, and despite the countless times Jooheon had been faced with the scorn and scolding of other soulmates spouting their opinions about how _soulless should just be with other soulless_ and _hiders shouldn’t even exist at all_ , the two owners never had an ill word to say about their unconventional and taboo relationship, and had even agreed from the start to make sure Jooheon was never scheduled to work on his souldate. Jooheon also got along with the other employees, though he was closest with Lee Minhyuk, a bright eyed and lively man who was one year his senior and smiled entirely too much. Yoo Kihyun was a manager, and although he could be strict and a little scary when crossed, he was always there for his fellow employees and was usually quite friendly. Chae Hyungwon—another manager—was tall, often quiet, and gentle, and he rarely worked mornings due to his deep love for sleeping in and slightly unfriendly appearance when tired.

They were all like a big family, looking out for each other and lighting up the cafe with their strong chemistry and differing, yet equally warm personalities. Since starting to work at Monbébé, Jooheon had never felt the need or urge to leave. He felt just as at home behind that counter as he did in his own apartment.

Jooheon was currently working a late afternoon/evening shift with Minhyuk and Kihyun and things were going abnormally slow for a weekday after regular class hours. Jooheon was told he could go on break, so he found a table and nibbled at a pastry while Minhyuk leaned against the counter chatting casually with the younger.

“What do you think they’re talking about back there?” Minhyuk wondered in a loud whisper, head jerking to a small room in the back where Kihyun and Hyunwoo were discussing something that seemed rather important considering the door was closed, which was rare. It was a manager’s office of sorts. Kihyun or Hyungwon—whichever was on shift at any given time—was more often than not in that room, but the door was very rarely closed. They all liked to talk amongst each other while working, so it was just natural to leave it open.

Jooheon craned his neck to glance over the counter at the door, then back at Minhyuk with a shrug.

“No one’s gotten in trouble, right?” he asked. Minhyuk straightened up and shook his head, brows pulled together in concern.

“No—or at least I don’t think so. I certainly haven’t.”

“Then don’t worry about it. I don’t think it’s anything bad,” Jooheon reasoned. Minhyuk sighed as leaned down to rest his elbows on the counter, pressing his chin into his palm.

“I’m still curious,” he muttered, pinching and rolling the ends of his hair between two fingers and seemingly lost in thought, Jooheon’s attention being drawn to the dark strands. Over the past few years Minhyuk’s hair had gotten lighter and lighter, eventually reaching an almost platinum. Jooheon had gotten used to seeing his older co-worker with light hair. But when Minhyuk had arrived at work today he and Kihyun both were shocked to see a head of dark brown, almost black hair on the cheery man. It was strange, the lighter colors seeming to fit his sunshine-esque personality, but the darker tone brought out his handsome features and he looked more mature to Jooheon.

That was another pro to working at Monbébé; as long as it looked good they could dye their hair any color of the rainbow. The owners didn’t care. As a matter of fact, anytime any of them expressed an interest in possibly changing their hair color or style, Hoseok himself offered to do it for them. He wasn’t a professional or anything, but he might as well have been. He had recently dyed Kihyun’s hair a lovely shade of pink that had resulted in quite a few of their unspoken for customers visiting much more frequently and leaving little notes and phone numbers on their napkins.

Hoseok also tended to get a lot of attention when he came in, no matter what color or style his hair was sporting. Though, his popularity had seemed to hit an all new high when he debuted a two-toned look with silver from the roots leading down to the the most perfect shade of blue at the tips. Jooheon doubted he could pull anything like that off, but he was beginning to consider a little change, already growing a little bored of his current honey toned light brown. It had been nice at first, and everyone said it suited him and made his nickname, 'Honey', even more relevant, but he missed his dark hair.  

Suddenly the door to the office opened, Minhyuk spinning around and Jooheon glancing up to see Hyunwoo and Kihyun stepping out. They approached the front and Kihyun motioned for Jooheon, who stood and moved behind the counter.

“We have someone new coming in. He’s a student at the college and will be working part time here starting Friday,” explained Hyunwoo. _So that’s what it was._ It made sense. Aside from today, Monbébé had been rather busy lately and they were definitely undermanned, so it was only a matter of time.

“You are closest to his age, Jooheon, so we want you to look after him and train him,” Kihyun instructed. “And he’ll be working the same hours as you Friday, so there shouldn’t be any issue. Are you ok with that?”

Jooheon nodded with a blank stare. Shouldn’t a manager be training the new guy? It’s not that Jooheon really hated the idea, but he had grown so close with everyone he worked with. It would be a little awkward and strange to work with someone new all of a sudden.

Hyunwoo didn’t stick around for long after the conversation about their new employee. He was much less social than his soulmate, though just as friendly. Business sped up a couple of hours before closing, then Jooheon had the next two days off. Gunhee’s schedule was almost always in sync with Jooheon's, but this week Gunhee worked the days Jooheon was off and vise versa, but they didn’t mind. They still spent plenty of time together, Jooheon even stopping in to visit Gunhee at the karaoke bar he worked at.

When Jooheon arrived at the cafe Friday morning for his shift he saw a cheerful Minhyuk talking to, presumably, their new part timer. He stepped behind the counter and glanced at the open door of the office. Hyungwon was slumped in the chair and staring down at the desk like it had insulted his very existence. That explained why training the new kid was left up to Jooheon rather than the manager. Hyungwon was having to work in the morning, and he would likely terrify the poor guy with his unforgiving sleepy glare without meaning to.

Minhyuk was calling him over then with a wave, Jooheon clocking in on the computer before going to introduce himself.

“This is Changkyun.” Minhyuk said excitedly before the newbie even had time to turn to face Jooheon. When the other did turn he seemed to stiffen, their eyes meeting and locking. Jooheon felt a light jolt of a tingling sensation run through him. He felt paralyzed and he was suddenly overcome with confusion, his thoughts feeling like they weren’t his and completely foreign, almost like he was thinking in a language he didn’t actually know, but of course he wasn’t.

“Honey? Are you awake?” Minhyuk teased, waving a hand in front of the younger’s face. Jooheon blinked a few times and looked at his friend who laughed at the confusion etched across his features. “Did you forget we were getting a new guy? You remember you’re the one training him, right?”

Jooheon looked back at Chankyun. He was staring down at his feet, hands fidgeting anxiously in front of him.  

“Yeah. Sorry. I didn’t sleep well last night, so I guess I’m a little out of it.” Jooheon slapped his cheek lightly in an effort to wake himself up, then offered the other his hand in introduction. “I’m Jooheon.” Changkyun looked up then, glancing at the hand offered to him before taking it almost hesitantly in his own. The handshake was half-hearted and more than a little awkward.

“...Wow,” Minhyuk muttered as he looked between the two. “That was really uncomfortable. Are you both half asleep? Am I the only one here who actually doesn’t mind working mornings? Anyway, Changkyun is younger than you, so you’re not the baby of the group anymore. You’re old news,” Minhyuk said, throwing an arm over Changkyun’s shoulders (the younger jumped slightly, obviously shocked by the action) and waving a dismissive hand towards Jooheon in a joking manner. “I have a new baby brother, and he’s ten times cuter than you.”

Jooheon squinted his eyes and stared at Minhyuk as his brain tried to keep up and process what his co-worker was saying before deciding it wasn’t worth the headache and sighing, “It’s too early in the morning to be dealing with Lee Minhyuk. Come with me and I’ll show you around.” He grabbed Changkyun by the wrist, ignoring the prickling sensation running straight up his arm, and pulled him away from their now pouting senior.

Jooheon showed the younger around their work area, explaining how things worked and assuring him that Hyungwon was indeed just tired and not contemplating murdering them all, despite what the expression in his eyes seemed to say when the tall man stepped out of the office and ghosted past them. After the first couple of hours the awkward feeling in the air lightened up, the weird feelings Jooheon had been having had subsided, and Changkyun was noticeably more relaxed as he cleaned off tables and smiled and chatted with curious customers who seemed quite interested in the new face working at their favorite cafe. Jooheon noted that the younger was actually really cute, though a little shy.

During his break Jooheon sipped at a coffee and texted Gunhee, telling him about how awkward the morning had been, but now that Changkyun was opening up a little more he was already starting to fit in quite nicely. When Hoseok stopped by unexpectedly to meet the newbie they all found themselves smiling and laughing with ease as he shared amusing (and some embarrassing) stories about the others when they first started working at the cafe. Even Hyungwon, now alive to the world after countless coffees, joined in with a rather amusing impression of a very flustered Minhyuk from his first week of work when an extremely bold girl asked in a not-so subtle way what time he _got off_ and if she could join him. Minhyuk had gasped and covered Changkyun’s ears, exclaiming something about “protecting his innocence” before confessing that that had happened on his souldate and he had been terrified that the girl might have actually been his soulmate and that was the very first thing she had said to him. Much to his relief, she was not.

Hoseok stayed through the shift and closed up early, since they were undermanned and he was against anyone having to work double shifts if it wasn't absolutely necessary. Recently it have been unavoidable a few times, and he had apologized profusely.

“We’re thinking about hiring a couple more people to make things easier on everyone. Maybe we’ll actually get some girls to apply,” Hoseok added with a chuckle as Minhyuk finished closing out the register and everyone started making their way towards the door.

“I was wondering about that, actually. Is it all guys here?” Changkyun asked, Hoseok nodding with a shrug.

“I think they’ve decided this is a _Coffee Prince_ kind of place and just don’t bother applying because they assume we only hire overly attractive men,” he explained, holding the door open for the others, then closing and locking it behind them. “I’m wondering if I should put out an ad. Something like, _‘Overly attractive women welcome to apply too,’_ might be good, right?” Changkyun laughed at that and Jooheon considered telling him that their boss might not be entirely joking.

When they all started to go their separate ways Jooheon stopped Hoseok and asked if the man had time to help him out with his hair. Hoseok agreed happily and they stopped to pick out a dye before heading to Hoseok and Hyunwoo’s house, where he was barely in the door before he was being pushed down into a chair with a towel thrown over his shoulders. Hyunwoo waved a silent greeting from the floor in the living room where he was currently doing sit-ups with headphones in.

“So, how did things go today? Everyone seemed to be getting along well,” Hoseok commented as he pulled on a pair of gloves and retrieved a mixing bowl and brush for the dye.

“Honestly? It was _really_ awkward this morning, but it got better. He seems like a nice kid. A little weird, but nice.”

“He does seem nice. Hyunwoo was the one that suggested hiring him. Some time last week he was leaving Monbébé and saw Changkyun just standing there and staring at the door and glancing into the window. Apparently when he approached him Changkyun said he was new to the area and a student at the college and was looking for a job, and Monbébé just had ‘a nice look and feel to it.’ Hyunwoo said there was something about the kid he liked and that we really needed to hire some more people anyway, so he got his email and sent him an application and Changkyun sent it back the same day. They had a little phone interview, but by that point Hyunwoo had already made up his mind to hire him, so it was honestly just for the sake of formalities and to tell him he had the job,” he explained, mixing the dye in the bowl and setting it aside to brush through Jooheon’s hair one good time before starting.

“Oh. So that’s why it felt so sudden.” Hyunwoo wasn’t the best at communicating sometimes and he would do things on his own without really telling anyone, but he always seemed to know what was best for Monbébé and cared deeply for his employees. It had felt sudden, but Hyunwoo knew that Changkyun would fit in and be a good employee. Jooheon recalled that morning and the strange feelings he'd had when he met Changkyun. Something about it had made him feel intimidated, for a brief moment he felt almost nauseated and like he should leave. He was glad he had stayed and gotten to know the younger man better, but he still didn’t understand what it was that made him feel that way.

“Can I ask you something?” Hoseok simply hummed in agreement at the question, working on a strip of Jooheon’s hair at his left side. “Have you ever… felt intimidated the moment you looked at someone?” he asked, not really sure how to put his feelings to words. Hoseok laughed.

“Yeah. Hyunwoo,” he answered with a glance over to his soulmate, who was apparently done working out and was now sitting on the floor with his back against the couch, headphones still in and eyes locked on his phone as he scrolled through something.

“Well, that’s understandable. He is a little intimidating at first, but I mean have you ever felt intimidated by someone who isn’t actually intimidating at all? Like, to the point to where you couldn’t move or even think clearly?” Hoseok’s hands stilled and he stared at Jooheon with something clinging to his handsome features that resembled confusion and concern. Jooheon continued, “Almost like you were paralyzed or something? Has that ever happened to you with someone?”

Hoseok slowly moved his gaze from Jooheon to Hyunwoo, Jooheon’s eyes following suit. Hyunwoo was looking back at Jooheon, his headphones now in his hand. His expression almost perfectly reflected that of Hoseok’s. Jooheon suddenly felt very uneasy, the sick feeling from that morning settling into the pit of his stomach again. Hoseok turned his focus back to Jooheon’s hair, picking back up where he had stopped briefly.

“I haven’t felt that exactly. With Hyunwoo I just felt really intimidated like I was a small child next to him. But…” he seemed to hesitate, “But long after we discovered that we were soulmates and had been together officially for a year or so, I asked Hyunwoo what it felt like for him when we first met, since meeting your soulmate tends to affect everyone differently. He told me that the moment our eyes met he was frozen in place and couldn’t even understand his own thoughts. Apparently I messed him up pretty bad,” he said with a chuckle. Jooheon felt even more sick. He stared blankly at the wall in front of him.

“What about when you touched for the first time?” His voice came out a little strangled, like his throat was dry and he was in desperate need of some water. Was his heart racing? His chest felt tight and he was almost certain he was going to throw up. What was happening to him? None of this made any sense.

If there was an answer to his question, Jooheon didn't hear it.

“Jooheon?” Hoseok’s voice sounded far away. He struggled to open his eyes, wondering just when he had closed them in the first place. His eyes met Hoseok’s instantly, the man hovering over him, gloves off and pressing something to Jooheon’s face. The damp coolness of a rag being dabbed against his cheek set in and that’s when he realized he was laying down on the couch. “Are you ok?” Hoseok asked, helping him to sit up.

“What happened?” He felt light headed and confused, his hand coming up to rub his head, but it was quickly grabbed and pulled away.

“Don’t touch. I got about half of your hair done and the dye is still in. You suddenly got really quiet, then started hyperventilating. I think… it seemed like you were having a panic attack or something,” Hoseok explained softly. “You passed out and almost fell out of the chair, but Hyunwoo caught you and carried you to the couch. Are you ok now? Do you need to go to the hospital?” He was concerned.

“No. I’m fine now,” Jooheon assured. “Sorry. I’ve been feeling off since this morning. I think I’m sick or something.” Honestly, he _hoped_ he was sick. It didn’t make any sense, but he couldn’t kick this nagging feeling that what he experienced was way too similar to soulbonding.

Hoseok seemed to read his mind as he softly said, “Jooheon, you shouldn’t worry. It’s not anywhere near your souldate. I’ve heard that sometimes people who haven’t met their soulmate yet can experience something like mock soulbonding with a random person. It’s your instinct to find your soulmate, so your body wants to bond and sometimes this sort of thing can happen. It’s harmless, though. You’re body is just faking what it can’t have. You can’t actually soulbond with someone who isn’t your soulmate.” He was trying to comfort Jooheon and keep him calm. It was helping, but he still didn’t feel right about it all. “You’re sure you’ve never met Changkyun before, right?”

“I’m sure,” Jooheon muttered. And he was. He would remember someone like Changkyun. The younger was very attractive and he felt drawn to him, but maybe that was the mock bonding making him feel that way?

“Alright. Well, if you’re feeling better I need to try to rinse that dye out and finish the other half of your head,” Hoseok said with a chuckle, offering Jooheon a hand and helping him off of the couch and into the kitchen where he used the sink sprayer to very carefully rinse out the dye without getting the rest of his hair wet. After Hoseok finished dying Jooheon’s hair and they were both equally satisfied with the result, he brought out a box of scissors and tremors and gave Jooheon a whole new look. His hair was now a dark brown and Hoseok had styled it back and out of his face. It suited him, and it was refreshing.

When he got home Gunhee greeted him with a shock. He walked around Jooheon, staring at his hair from all angles.

“Hoseok?” he asked, settling to stand in front of his boyfriend, who nodded and awaited eagerly for Gunhee’s input. “It looks good on you. I really like the style.” He leaned in and kissed Jooheon with a smile, then wrapped his arms around him. Jooheon followed suit and instantly felt the stress of the day melt down his body. The embrace was warm and he smiled as he pressed his lips to his lover’s neck.

“I missed you,” he whispered against the soft of Gunhee’s skin.

Gunhee chuckled. “You just saw me this morning.”

“I still missed you,” he insisted, kissing the pulse under his lips, Gunhee sighing and tilting his head slightly. Jooheon could almost feel the soft smile spread across the other’s lips. He knew it was there without seeing it.

“I missed you too.”

  


~.~.~.~.~

  


Over the next few weeks to follow Jooheon found himself growing closer to Changkyun, forming a friendship. Everyone got along with him and really seemed to enjoy having him around. Before any of them even realized it he had become a part of the Monbébé family. At first Jooheon felt a little sick whenever he was around Changkyun, but despite that he still felt drawn to him. The sickness wore off though, and now their friendship was growing and Jooheon could see it possibly one day rivaling that of his and Minhyuk’s. He found the younger’s odd sense of humor amusing and enjoyed working with him.

One Friday night while closing up after working a shift with Minhyuk and Hyungwon, Minhyuk suggested they go out drinking. The two of them agreed and they all decided to call Changkyun and see if he wanted to join. They ended up inviting Kihyun, Hoseok, and Hyunwoo as well, and the whole lot of them got a table at a bar and drank and laughed into the early morning. Jooheon had thought to invite Gunhee, but the other had to work late and by the time he got off he was exhausted and ready for bed.

Without intention this became a weekly thing. After the third week Gunhee was finally able to tag along. Everyone had already met him, aside from Changkyun, so Jooheon introduced the two of them and the night went on to be loud and fun as usual. This time however, Jooheon had Gunhee with him, so he was in his highest spirits. Eventually they moved from the bar to a nearby club, claiming a table where they sat and played drinking games and chatted as best they could over the loud thrumming of music and drunken haze settling over each of them.

Hoseok pulled Hyunwoo onto the dance floor at some point, then suddenly they were all up and moving to the beat. Well, except for Gunhee. He tried, but the man wasn’t exactly dancing inclined. He still appeared to be having fun though, and they all laughed and poked fun at the lack of rhythm in his stiff limbs.

When a slower song came on Jooheon wrapped his arms around Gunhee and they swayed to the music, laughing along with Hyunwoo and Hoseok as the other four made sounds and faces of mock disgust and went back to their table to boo at the couples-fest that had become the dance floor. Jooheon was glad Gunhee was able to come tonight. He rested his chin on the man’s shoulder, eyes closed to the world around him, and they moved in a slow circle, swaying left to right actually somewhat in time with the music. When he opened his eyes he could see his four single friends at the table. Hyungwon, Minhyuk, and Kihyun all leaning in and shouting over the music at each other and holding an apparently hilarious conversation. Then his eyes fell on Changkyun and his gaze was met from across the room.

A cold chill ran up his spine and he felt… guilty? Was that what it was? Maybe he felt bad because Changkyun was sitting there alone while everyone else was either dancing or talking amongst themselves. Jooheon couldn’t make out his expression from the distance, but the younger must have been bored. He lifted his head to speak at Gunhee’s ear so that the other would be able to hear him. His head was spinning rather unpleasantly now.

“Let’s go back to the table,” he suggested. Gunhee pulled back to look at him, a silent question visible on his face. Jooheon leaned in to speak again, “I’m feeling a little dizzy from dancing. I just want to sit down.” Gunhee nodded and they moved to join their friends at the table, abandoning Hyunwoo and Hoseok on the dance floor, where they now stood clinging to each other and making out shamelessly.

The passing hour found the group all sitting together again and the hype of alcohol and loud music dying down as the early hours of the morning set in. Gunhee was pressed against Jooheon’s side, his head resting on his shoulder and dozing off. Jooheon was currently locked in what seemed to be a staring contest with Changkyun, who was sitting opposite him at the table. He couldn’t recall how long they had been looking at each other, but neither had made an effort to look away. It was almost as though they were trying to communicate telepathically.

When Jooheon felt his boyfriend stir against him and nuzzle his cheek into his bicep as arms came around his waist he finally tore his eyes away from the younger male in front of him to look down at his boyfriend. The older yawned and moved in even closer, now pressing his face into the side of Jooheon’s neck. Every gentle breath tickled and the arms around him made him feel secure, safe. Jooheon felt the warmth of overwhelming affection spread through his core, an unconscious smile tugging at his lips.

“Gun’s exhausted,” Jooheon informed everyone at the table. “I’m getting pretty tired myself. I think we’re gonna head out.” His co-workers seemed to agree with him as they all stood and looked ready to leave as well. Jooheon helped Gunhee up and looped an arm around him to support him as they walked out. Kihyun claimed to have sobered up enough to walk home and waved as he set off, Minhyuk following suit. Hyungwon groggily waved down the first passing taxi he saw and slipped in with a lazy nod of farewell to the remaining group.

“I’ll go try to catch a cab for Changkyun. Hyunwoo, try to get one for Gun and Honey—”

“I can walk,” Changkyun cut in, stopping Hoseok. “I didn’t drink as much as everyone else and my dorm is close.” Hoseok looked like he wanted to protest, but simply nodded in acceptance.

“It was nice meeting you,” Gunhee slurred, still buzzed and half asleep as he leaned against Jooheon. Changkyun looked at the pair, expression unreadable for a brief second before he smiled softly and returned the gesture with equal sincerity. When the youngest man walked away Jooheon looked back at Hoseok and noticed Hyunwoo was missing from his side, then looked past his shorter boss and saw the taller of the two up the street some and waving for them to come over. He had gotten a taxi for Jooheon and Gunhee.

“You sure you don’t want to take this one?” Jooheon asked as they approached.

Hoseok shook his head, “No. We want to walk. We like the fresh air after a night of drinking. Helps clear our heads and the long walk builds anticipation for when we get home.” There was a smirk playing at the corner of Hoseok’s mouth as his eyes shifted narrowly towards his soulmate, who was now blushing and looking quite flustered by the suggestion.

That was way more information than Jooheon needed to know, and brought entirely too much imagery to mind for his taste, so he made a face at his two bosses as he helped Gunhee into the cab first, taking care to make sure the other didn’t hit his head. They all exchanged goodbyes and safe wishes through the window before parting.

When they finally got into their apartment after a long battle between keys and alcohol and cold wind shaken hands, Jooheon had to practically drag Gunhee into the bedroom, complaining, yet smiling the whole way.

He stripped Gunhee down to his underwear and threw the blankets over him before undressing himself and collapsing next to his already snoring lover. The night played over in his head as he lay staring up through the darkness at the ceiling. _Changkyun seemed weird tonight._ Well, Changkyun was always weird, but something seemed different. Or, maybe it was just Jooheon’s imagination. Truth be told he had been paying far more attention to the younger than he should be.

Jooheon felt warm as Gunhee rolled on his side and snuggled up to him, an arm and leg thrown over the man as Gunhee’s head found comfort on Jooheon’s chest. Suddenly his mind was clear, eyes closed, and lips pulled into a smile. He placed a hand on his boyfriend’s head and subconsciously rubbed and picked at his hair until he felt himself drifting off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This honestly feels so rushed. It took forever for me to get it uploaded, and it still feels rushed. Lmfao. I am so sorry. It's been so long since I've tried to write something with so much plot in mind, so I'm still getting the hang of it. I hope you guys liked it!


	4. Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone for all of the comments and kudos thus far. Honestly, I didn't have a lot of confidence in this fic and I doubt myself with every update, but you guys keep showing me love and it feeds my inner beast so that I can continue writting this sin.♡ It's greatly appreciated~

“You lived in America?” Jooheon was more shocked than he probably should have been. Near the end of their morning shift they had served a foreigner; a young lady who’s fluency in Korean was basically nonexistent. In Korea they were taught English from a young age, but it was basic and didn’t always stick. Jooheon knew how to greet someone, and he also knew how to tell them that he couldn’t understand or speak English.

When he saw the other struggling with the customer, Changkyun stepped up and took over the order, leaving Jooheon baffled and mesmerized as he watched the transaction. The younger was apparently at least conversationally fluent in the other language, and when Jooheon complimented him on his superior English skills and inquired as to how he knew so much, Changkyun explained that he had spent many years living overseas when he was young— first in Israel, then in the US. 

“My father is a scientist. We had to travel because of his work,” he said with a shrug. The more Jooheon learned about his younger co-worker, the more intrigued he became. Changkyun was really interesting. He was becoming popular with the customers, and aided in maintaining the lighthearted atmosphere of the cafe with his frequent jokes and sigh-worthy puns. Thinking back to a couple of months ago when the other man was first brought in, Jooheon could barely recall the awkwardness of their first meeting. 

“It was noted on his application that he could speak English fairly well,” Hoseok added as he stepped away from a conversation with Kihyun. “We were very lucky to have our little Kookang today~” Kookang was Changkyun’s nickname around work. Hoseok had been the one to place the title, declaring that Changyun was very much like a puppy, so it was only fitting. The name had stuck and even certain customers had started using it. 

Jooheon stretched with a yawn after clocking out and looked back at Changkyun, the younger taking off his apron and hanging it on the rack near the manager’s office. Jooheon motioned for the younger to hurry up and the man rushed over. 

“Where are you two going today?” Hoseok asked as he stepped out from behind the counter behind the younger two. Jooheon shrugged.

“We haven’t decided yet. You wanna come along? We were going to invite Kihyun-Hyung, but he left before we had the chance.”

“No, no. I have some errands that I need to run today. I hung around here for too long as it is,” their boss chuckled.

“I want to come!” Minhyuk called from over the computer where he had just clocked in for the afternoon shift. “You guys should wait for me to get off!”

“No way in hell, Hyung. I’m starving, and you just got here!” Jooheon fired back quick as a whip, Minhyuk pouting at the rejection as if his request had been a reasonable one and Jooheon was being unreasonable for not accepting. Hoseok was smiling, clearly amused by the banter.

“Why don’t you and Hyungwon take Miss Gauel out after your shift? Buy her dinner to welcome her to the Monbébé family?” he suggested. Gauel was their  _ new  _ newbie. And more exciting, she was a girl! 

This would be her first day working since her training day with Hyungwon and Jooheon. She had requested to work with Hyungwon again if possible, finding comfort in his calm demeanor. Truth be told, she had been introduced to all of them that worked at the cafe, and apparently Kihyun intimidated her, so she preferred (at least for the time being) to work on shifts that Hyungwon was managing. She was a nice girl, if only a little jumpy and timid. 

Gauel’s eyes widened at the suggestion

“Good idea~” Minhyuk said, expression now bright with new hope as he turned to call back into the manager’s office where Hyungwon was already looking out, listening to the whole conversation. “Are you free after work?” Hyungwon glanced at Gauel, who looked back at him so bright eyed and hopeful it was almost as though she were an extension of Minhyuk in that moment.

“Sure,” the manager answered simply with a small smile.   

“Great. Now that that’s settled, can we go eat?” Jooheon huffed.

“Yes, go! Enjoy your date!” Minhyuk teased, earning a halfhearted glare and sigh from the other as he and Changkyun walked out behind a chuckling Hoseok. 

After further deliberations it was decided that the two of them would simply get burgers at a restaurant they had been to on a couple of occasions before, where the food was good, prices were decent, and the atmosphere was casual. As they sat and chatted with each other, enjoying their lunch at a leisurely pace Jooheon watched out of the window to his side as the clouds in the sky began to darken and come together with the threat of rain. Gunhee would be coming home from work in just over an hour and he hoped that the other would be able to get a ride to avoid getting wet. It wasn’t forecasted to rain that day, so neither of them had thought to dress accordingly or bring an umbrella. Luckily for Jooheon, they were near his and Gunhee’s apartment, so he wasn’t too worried about himself. 

  When they were finished eating they each paid for their respective meals and took their leave, tummies full and sated. The pair walked along the sidewalk and talked, neither seeming to be ready to part ways. They enjoyed each other’s company, and even though Changkyun had been around for well over a month now Jooheon was still learning more about him. 

“You’re studying science at the college, right? Are you going to follow after your dad?” he asked curiously. Changkyun nodded and shrugged, reaching up to brush a few stray dark strands out of his face as a gust of wind blew from behind them and mussed his hair. Jooheon felt a couple of drops of moisture on his neck and wondered if they would get caught in a storm. 

“I like science, and I was always around my father when he was working. I went to a bunch of his lectures when I was younger, so I was always able to catch on easily in my own science classes,” the younger elaborated. “I’m also interested in music, though. My mom put me in a music school and said it was a good way to relieve stress, and I kind of fell in love.”

Jooheon watched Changkyun, noted the soft smile on the other’s lips as he spoke about his parents and interests. Even in the dull and gloom light of a stormy sky Changkyun seemed to glow, his handsome profile tilted up slightly as his eyes (sable brown married with milk chocolate) were upcast and scanning the grey overhead as a low rumble rolled around them.   

When he spoke again his voice was distant as his mind seemed focused on the impending rainfall, “I’m studying both right now, but I’m not sure what I’ll end up doing.” His eyes fell then to meet Jooheon’s. They had stopped walking at some point during their conversation and Changkyun now stood facing a dazed Jooheon. This would happen on occasion. Jooheon had accepted it as the mock soulbonding Hoseok had mentioned before. 

He had done some research and read that most people that experienced it found that it went away completely after a few months, but during that time they craved the other person’s attention and often longed to be near them. Some even claimed to have felt depressed or lethargic when the other person wasn’t around, not unlike the withdrawals a lot of soulmates feel during beginning stages of soulbonding when they’ve been spending a lot of time with their soulmate, then are suddenly unable to see each other as frequently. Jooheon was no longer concerned over these feelings and his infatuation with Changkyun. He didn’t want to avoid spending time with the other on friendly terms, and hadn’t even bothered bringing up the issue to the younger as he didn’t appear to be feeling the same— not as far as Jooheon could tell, anyway. 

Jooheon’s heart belonged to Gunhee, and even with this little hiccup he loved the other as deeply as he always had. That being said, their relationship was built on trust— any relationship should be, but it was especially necessary when it was between a soulless and a hider. Jooheon trusted Gunhee with his life, and Gunhee knew how Jooheon felt about soulmates and knew Jooheon would  _ never  _ seek out his own, so Gunhee trusted him just as much. But with trust came unpleasant conversations at times, and though Jooheon knew that the ‘bonding’ he was experiencing with Changkyun wasn’t real, he still took the time to sit down and explain it all to his boyfriend. 

It had been a fairly easy conversation. Gunhee was understanding and when Jooheon offered to keep his distance from Changkyun if it would make the other more comfortable, Gunhee had simply shaken his head and said that it was fine. 

_ “I know you’ll never leave me over someone who isn’t your soulmate,”  _ he had said with a soft smile that teetered on melancholy. 

_ “I wouldn’t leave you even if I did meet my soulmate,”  _ assured Jooheon, punctuated by a peck to the lips as he took the other’s hand and placed it on his chest, the familiar action allowing the Gunhee to feel Jooheon’s heartbeat beneath his palm.  _ “This is yours. Remember? I don’t give a fuck about matching dates and all of that shit. You’re my real soulmate.”  _

And he meant it. He always had. All of this mess with Changkyun was insignificant and illegitimate. 

“Hyung, I—” A single drop fell from the sky to land on Changkyun’s cheek, cutting him off. Jooheon watched as it rolled down the younger’s tan skin to tuck under his jaw, then felt one, then two on his own face. More droplets followed, turning quickly into a fall downpour. Voiced complaints and slight distress broke out around them as others on the streets hurried to open umbrellas and some unprepared as they scurried past them to enter nearby shops for shelter from the rain. 

“Shit,” Jooheon swore as he pulled his jacket up over his head. “My apartment’s closer than your dorm. You can come hang out there until this passes over,” he offered, turning and hurrying along the sidewalk with Changkyun following close behind. Their footsteps splashed as water collected in newly forming puddles beneath their feet. Down the street and around the corner, when the apartment came into view they were all but sprinting, Jooheon’s keys already in hand. 

Once inside the two stood at the entrance, panting as they kicked off their shoes. Their clothes were soaked through and Changkyun shivered in place. Jooheon flipped on a light with a sigh.

“I really hope Gun’s not walking home in this,” he muttered as he peeled off his jacket and let it fall to the floor messily next to the door. He looked at Changkyun then and noticed the younger’s chilled state. “Stay here.”

Jooheon hurried to the bedroom and into the attached bathroom and grabbed two towels before returning and handing one to his friend. 

“Thanks,” Changkyun said, his teeth chattering slightly as he took the dry cloth and started ruffling his hair with it. Jooheon sighed at the soaked clothes clinging to them both and went back into the bedroom, rummaging through drawers and pulling out a t-shirt and pair of jean  for himself, and another t-shirt and pair of sweats for Changkyun. 

“Come in here and change,” he called out, leaving the shirt and sweatpants on the foot of the bed and taking his change of clothes into the bathroom, shutting the door. His shirt was significantly easier to remove than his pants, having to sit on the floor once they were shimmied past his waist to pull at the legs for them to come off completely. He discarded his wet clothes in a pile and took his towel back in hand to dry himself off a little better. The sound of the front door shutting caught his attention and he realized Gunhee must have just come in. 

“Gun-ah, I’m in the bathroom changing. Changkyun’s changing in the room,” he called out in warning, pretty sure he would be heard through the door. Another roll of thunder passed over, this time louder than before and Jooheon tossed his towel down and started pulling on his dry clothes in haste. He really hated thunder, and preferred to not be alone during storms. 

There was the distinct sound of grocery bags being dropped to the floor in the room next to him and he zipped and buttoned his pants before quickly opening the door, thinking only as the door was swinging open that he probably should have knocked to make sure Changkyun was finished changing first. Luckily, Changkyun was pulling his shirt on just as Jooheon stepped out, the younger facing away from him and towards the bedroom doorway, where a rather pale faced Gunhee stood looking stunned and motionless. 

“ _ Why? _ ” Jooheon read on his lips, the word coming out as more of a breath and not quite audible. Jooheon rushed over to him in a panic, to clear up any misunderstanding his boyfriend might have formed over the situation before him.

“Changkyun and I got lunch after work and we got rained on. It was closer to come here, so I gave him a change of clothes and told him to wait out the rain here,” he explained with haste, the full realization of how bad this could look to someone walking in uninformed weighing down on him. Jooheon was standing in front of Gunhee both hands on the man’s shoulders, their faces close so that Gunhee would be focusing on only him and could hopefully see the sincerity in his eyes. Gunhee stared back at him, brows drawn together and eyes searching, reading Jooheon’s features. 

“I… I didn’t think— I know you wouldn’t—” he began to speak, but seemed to choke on his words. A flash came from the bedroom window and a loud clap of thunder followed, Jooheon’s whole body going stiff, fingers digging into his boyfriend’s shoulders anxiously as Gunhee reacted on straight instinct pulled him into a tight hug. They had been together for many years, and had been through countless thunderstorms much worse than this. It had become a natural reaction for Gunhee to grab and hold Jooheon whenever there was a particularly loud strike, to comfort the younger. 

Gunhee inhaled a shaky breath and released it slowly before speaking softly, “I know, Honey. I trust you. He just…” The words stopped and it was silent for a moment, save for the white noise of the rain outside. Jooheon could almost feel Gunhee and Changkyun’s eyes meeting over his shoulder, the arms around him tightening ever so slightly. “I guess I wasn’t expecting to see anyone else in the room and it startled me, is all.” Something sounded off about his voice, but when the other pulled back and gave Jooheon a chaste kiss on the lips his worries eased away. 

“I did try to warn you. I guess you couldn’t hear me,” he said with a chuckle. What was that look in Gunhee’s eyes? Not distrust or betrayal, he clearly believed Jooheon and wasn’t making any accusations, but something was bothering him. Something was bothering him very badly.

“S-sorry,” Changkyun stuttered and Jooheon turned to face him, the youngest was looking at Gunhee, though. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to— I didn’t know until—”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault,” Gunhee interrupted, sounding urgent and Changkyun cast his eyes down to his feet. “Anyway, it’s good to see you again.” The younger looked back up at Gunhee, eyes ladened with confusion. Jooheon felt as though he was missing something vital, like he had just walked in halfway through a conversation. “It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve been able to make it out with you guys. I miss it,” Gunhee continued, picking up a bag of random items they needed around that apartment that Gunhee had apparently picked up on his way home, then stepping past a bewildered Jooheon and bending down to pick up Changkyun’s wet clothes with his free hand. 

When he straightened back up placed a hand on the other’s shoulder. “I’ll see if I can dry your clothes out for you before you go, so make yourself at home until the rain stops.” Gunhee patted the shoulder twice with a soft sigh before Jooheon watched him disappear into the bathroom, probably to collect his wet clothes as well. 

Jooheon had a lot of questions swimming around in his head. What was he missing? What was bothering Gunhee? And why did Changkyun look far more apologetic than this situation called for? He settled on holding these questions in to ask Gunhee after the younger had left.

But when Jooheon did bring his concerns up that night Gunhee simply laughed it off and claimed to not know what he was talking about. Despite that, something was still eating away at Gunhee, Jooheon could tell. And the whole time Changkyun had been over the eldest seemed to be keeping himself busy to avoid staying in the room with them. Jooheon had turned on the t.v, but no one was really paying attention to it. Changkyun was staring blankly at the random drama playing on screen, but it was obvious he wasn’t actually watching it, and Jooheon was too busy glancing at Changkyun and trying to figure out what was going on. 

It had been an awkwardness that far surpassed that of their first meeting, and what was worse was that Gunhee was involved this time. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t even noticed the thunder and lightening growing heavier and more frequent. He didn’t notice when it stopped, either. Jooheon only realized the storm had passed when Changkyun stood and said that he would go ahead and leave.

Gunhee had brought out his clothes and said that they weren’t even close to being dry yet, but Changkyun insisted that it would be fine and changed and left anyway. It took hours for Jooheon to actually ask his boyfriend what was going on. He finally found the right wording and time when they were laying in bed, Jooheon pressed against Gunhee’s side with his face nuzzled into his ribcage as the other gently ran his fingers through the younger’s hair. When Gunhee insisted that Jooheon was worrying over nothing Jooheon decided not to press the issue any further and simply focused on the rhythm of his lover’s soft breathing as they fell together into unconsciousness. 

  
  


~.~.~.~.~

  
  


Changkyun stopped going out to eat with Jooheon after work. Actually, he seemed to be working with Jooheon less and less frequently each week. Jooheon worked mostly with Gauel and Minhyuk, and he got along great with both, but he missed the younger male and wondered what exactly he had done to cause his friend to distance himself in such a way. Even after some time had passed Jooheon continued thinking back to the day they had been caught in the rain and that was really the last time everything had been normal between them. 

Jooheon had been feeling tired lately. He used to enjoy working at Monbébé, but it was beginning to feel more like a  _ job  _ than it ever had before. On an off day Hoseok called Jooheon and asked him to come by to have his hair done. It was starting to grow out a look a little messy. He dyed Jooheon’s hair a brown slightly lighter than it had been before, and rather than take a lot of length off he trimmed and styled it with a light curl, parting it to the side. He liked it. It looked nice, but Jooheon didn’t feel as refreshed and happy as he usually did after letting Hoseok have his way with his hair. 

“Ok. Talk,” Hoseok ordered, blocking the doorway as Jooheon was about to leave. 

“What?” Jooheon asked dumbly. 

“Something is wrong. Something’s been wrong for a while now, and—” The door behind Hoseok opened and Hyunwoo jumped slightly, not expecting his soulmate to be standing right there when he opened the door. Hoseok turned and greeted the other with a kiss. “Oh, hey.”

“What are you doing?” the taller man asked shifting his eyes from Hoseok’s to Jooheon. “Wow. Your hair looks really nice,” he commented as he stepped in and closed the door, Hoseok stepping aside to give him room.

“Thanks!”

“Thanks,” both Jooheon and his boss answered in unison, Hoseok chuckling at themselves, while Jooheon just smiled softly and looked down, distant.

“What’s wrong?” Hyunwoo asked immediately. 

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. He was trying to leave, so I blocked the door and was confronting him about it, and that’s when you walked in,” Hoseok explained. Jooheon looked up, confused. He had just been tired is all. What was there to confront?

“I’m fine. Just tired.”

“Honey, something is seriously wrong. Everyone can tell, not just us. Minhyuk showed up unannounced the other day, worried so sick about you he felt he needed to talk to us about it immediately.” Hoseok’s words went straight through Jooheon. He should feel bad for worrying everyone, but he didn’t think there was really anything to worry about.

“I really don’t know what you guys are talking about. Minhyuk-Hyung’s hair looks great, by the way. The red really suits him,” Jooheon said with another smile. Hoseok grit his teeth and grabbed the younger by the wrist, pulling him over to the couch where he pushed Jooheon down to sit. Jooheon was startled by the action and stared wide-eyed up at his usually gentle boss, the man’s soulmate coming up behind him and placing a comforting hand on Hoseok’s shoulder.

“I believe Monbébé to be unlike most workplaces, where all of our employees are close-knit and share a special kind of friendship,” he started, voice calm, but serious. “But here recently you have been distant with everyone, and what’s more concerning is that you aren’t the only one acting this way. Changkyun has been worse off. He’s been asking off a lot and specifically requesting to work when you aren’t scheduled. And now he’s put in his two weeks notice. He’s leaving. Now, I want to know what the hell is going on with the two of you, and after all these years of employment, free haircuts, and unconditional friendship, I think you owe it to me to give me an answer.” 

Jooheon’s chest ached at Hoseok’s words. More specifically, the mentioning of Changkyun’s name felt like a knife to the chest that was slowly being twisted as the other went on to say that their youngest employee was quitting. He wanted to give Hoseok and answer, he wanted more than anything to be able to, but he was just as lost and confused as they were. 

“Jooheon?” Hoseok questioned in a softer tone, kneeling down in front of him. “Oh, Honey, I’m sorry,” he whispered, reaching up and wiping a tear from Jooheon’s cheek that he hadn’t even realized was there. “I didn’t mean to upset you. We’re all just…”

“We’re worried,” Hyunwoo finished his soulmate’s sentence, sitting next to Jooheon on the couch. “We’ve never seen you like this. And Changkyun hasn’t been around as long as you, but he’s been around long enough for us to know something isn’t right.” More tears rushed down Jooheon’s cheeks, but these he was aware of.

“I really don’t know,” he confessed, cupping his hands over his face. “I think something happened with him and Gunhee, but neither of them will talk to me about it.”

“What do you mean?” Hoseok asked, concern apparent in his voice. “What happened with Gunhee?”  

Jooheon wiped his face on his shirt and inhaled deeply to gain control over his emotions. He told the two soulmates about the day just weeks ago when everything started, explained how odd both Gunhee and Changkyun had been acting after his boyfriend walked in on the youngest.

“Gun insists nothing happened, and Changkyun won’t even look at me,” muttered Jooheon as he stared down at the floor. “I don’t know what’s going on, but… I miss him.” Silence followed and lingered for a minute or so before anyone spoke again. It was Hyunwoo that broke it.

“How are things with Gunhee?” Jooheon looked to his side at the older male sitting next time him.

“Normal, for the most part. I still feel like there’s something he isn’t telling me.”

“He hasn’t mentioned anything about how you’ve been acting recently?” Hoseok pressed, and Jooheon shook his head.

“No. I’ve been feeling really tired lately, so we haven’t been talking as much. At times it did seem like he had something he wanted to say, but was holding back for some reason. I just kinda let it go,” Jooheon confessed, Hoseok humming in thought. 

“Alright. You can go now, if you want. I’m going to call Changkyun and try talking to him. I would really like to get to the bottom of this, and I hope to convince him to stay with us,” the younger boss said as he stood from his crouch on the floor. “Thank you, Jooheon, for talking to us. We’ll do whatever we can to resolve this issue,” he promised, offering Jooheon a hand and hoisting him up off of the couch. Hyunwoo stood as well and patted Jooheon on the back. Hoseok walked him to the door and pulled him into a tight hug before releasing him with a sweet smile and assurance that everything would be fine. 

The walk home was long, but felt almost instantaneous. Jooheon felt as though he were drifting, sleep walking. He felt as though he wasn’t  _ feeling  _ much of anything. 

When he stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind him he heard water running. Gunhee was in the shower. Jooheon walked into their bedroom and peeked into the bathroom just as the other turned the water off. He stepped out of the shower and looked up, jumping and swearing in a gasp.

“You scared the fuck out of me, Jooheon,” he declared with an exhale. “I see you visited Hoseok-Hyung. It looks great,” he commented, referring to the new hairstyle.

Jooheon’s eyes swept over Gunhee’s naked form, the man’s dark hair slicked back to show off his handsome face. His gaze followed the droplets of water running down his arms, past his tattoos— two solid black, thick rings around the left forearm, and a double harpooned shark winding in ropes on the right— and down to his hands where the water dripped from his fingertips to the floor. When Gunhee reached for his towel to dab at his face Jooheon’s line of sight fell to the other’s chest, following a single streak straight down. 

He didn’t really think about it, his body just acting on impulse as Jooheon moved forward and closed the distance between them. He wound his arms around his soaking wet boyfriend, feeling the moisture seep into his shirt. Gunhee lowered the towel from his face, dropping it, and stumbled backwards, caught off guard as Jooheon pressed his nose into the side of Gunhee’s neck. “Jooheonie?”

“I missed you,” he whispered, inhaling the scent of soap, steam, and what could only be described as Gunhee.

“I missed you too?” his boyfriend said, sounding amused by his spontaneity. Jooheon straightened up then and stole the other’s lips, feeling a hum of contentment against his own as Gunhee’s arms found their place around his waist. Jooheon was pulled in closer, his clothed form pressing flush against Gunhee’s naked one and he allowed the other access to lick into his mouth. Gunhee moved forward, pushing Jooheon into their bedroom.

  
  


~.~.~.~.~

  
  


The air around them felt hot and humid. Gunhee would definitely need another shower. Jooheon would probably join him. His back was pressed into the mattress below him and his boyfriend moved at a slow, passionate tempo, driving Jooheon crazy in the best possible way. Gunhee’s still-wet hair hung down in his face, dripping down onto Jooheon with each thrust. This should be annoying, but it was oddly sensual.

The room echoed with heavy breaths and desperate moans as Jooheon writhed beneath his boyfriend’s leisurely pace. He felt flushed from head to toe, overheating and skin sticking to the sheets with sweat. Blunt nails left streaks and half moons across Gunhee’s shoulders and back as Jooheon’s cock flared angry and needy against his stomach, but he refused to grasp it, knowing it would be the end and he wasn’t ready for this to be over. But he wanted more.  _ Needed _ more.

With a fire burning at his core Jooheon brought both hands up to Gunhee’s shoulders and hooked a leg behind the other’s knee, pushing and flipping their position. He reveled in the stunned expression his lover now wore, grinning down at him as he took control and set a pace that better suited his needs. Jooheon leaned back slightly, grasping Gunhee’s thighs from behind for support as he rode the other fluidly and searched for the perfect angle. Hands found his own thighs and gripped tightly, the body under his shifting, then thrusting up to meet his movements.

“Fuck,” Jooheon gasped, head falling back as Gunhee’s thrust made direct contact with his prostate, his vision fading white and fuzzy behind his closed eyelids. His thighs clenched tightly around the older’s hips as each following motion rubbed that sensitive bundle of nerves. Jooheon rocked in a fluent ebb and flow. He felt blissful. He felt like he was one with Gunhee, and together they were a perfect, invincible being. 

It was over all too soon as Gunhee’s hands slid up to take hold of Jooheon’s hips and he gave one deliberate, hard thrust up, sending the younger plunging into euphoric pleasure. He came untouched, his muscles tensing and jerking as his orgasm hit him like a title wave crashing into his body and washing him away. While Jooheon was still trying to recover, still lost to all that surrounded him, Gunhee flipped their position again and wrapped his hand around Jooheon’s cock. “Gun—” He released a shriek when Gunhee began pumping him as fast and hard as his thrusts, the semen from his previous orgasm making the ministrations slick and smooth.

Jooheon’s knees bent, feet digging into bed and back arching high at the burning ache of overstimulation. His knuckles were white from how hard he gripped the sheets and his eyes pricked with tears. It was painful, and  _ so  _ good. In a flash he was coming again, spilling over Gunhee’s hand with a cry, hips jerking up into the hand wildly. 

Jooheon didn’t even notice Gunhee’s hips stutter with his own release, didn’t hear the groan and gritted swear as he road out his bliss in Jooheon’s tight confines. He wasn’t coherent, he was on some other plane of existence. When he blinked his vision back into to focus Gunhee had already pulled out and was returning from the bathroom with a damp cloth.

His boyfriend silently cleaned the excessive amount of cum from his burning abs, very carefully dabbing the cloth over Jooheon’s cock, drawing a hiss from the younger at the sensitivity. Gunhee whispered a soft apology, then dipped between Jooheon’s legs to wipe away his own release from Jooheon’s backside and thighs. It was a rarity for them to not use protection, but Gunhee always took great care when dealing with the cleanup. He really did love Jooheon, the younger had never doubted that.

But he worried when the other kept secrets from him. Their relationship was built on trust and honesty; secrets didn’t exist between them. It made him feel distant, detached. It scared him.

The older male tossed the rag to the floor and sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from Jooheon. Jooheon’s heart sank at the sight of his lover’s back, taking in the deflated appearance of his posture and wishing more than anything Gunhee had laid next to him and wrapped his arms around him like usual. What did this mean? Jooheon bit at the inside of his cheek anxiously as a silence stretched on for what felt like an eternity. 

“I talked to Changkyun today,” Gunhee’s voice broke through the quiet. Jooheon sat up, wincing as his muscles protested.

“What? When? What did he say?” he asked with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm.  

“I called him just before my shower,” Gunhee said, turning to face Jooheon. “I couldn’t stand to see you mope around anymore, and I knew it had something to do with him. You’ve been spending more time here, so I figured you must not be hanging out with Changkyun anymore. I mean, don’t get me wrong; I’m always glad to have you here with me, but you two were getting really close and he’s a good friend to have.” Gunhee was smiling at him, but it looked fabricated, not entirely genuine. 

“So what happened? Why wouldn’t either of you talk to me about it?” Jooheon questioned.

“Nothing happened, honestly,” the other replied immediately. “It was just a misunderstanding. When I walked in on him changing he thought I was mad, or whatever, so to be courteous he distanced himself to give me and you more time together.” Gunhee laughed then. “But we had a nice talk and I straightened everything out. Things should go back to normal now, so… please cheer up.” He was softly smiling at Jooheon. It was a sort of sad smile, but at least it felt real.

“Thank you, Gun.” 

That night Jooheon slept better than he had in weeks, images of a beaming face he had feared was lost to him for good mixing into tranquil dreams, and the warmth of his lover next to him. 

Jooheon’s next shift was on a warm afternoon, the sun casting a golden glow into the windows of the cafe as the day winded down to a peaceful evening. He was working with Minhyuk and Kihyun and the day had been filled with laughter and familiar comfort. When they were preparing to close up, the last few stragglers carrying their conversations elsewhere, the door opened and in walked a tense looking Changkyun. 

“Kookangie!” Minhyuk beamed from behind the counter. Jooheon was currently sweeping up around the tables and he propped his broom against the wall and waved at the younger, who immediately approached him. 

“Hey, sorry about the whole misunderstanding with Gun. He didn’t mean to make you feel unwelcome,” Jooheon said with an awkward chuckle. 

“Hyung, I’m sorry.” Changkyun’s eyes were downcast. “I tried to leave, but I’m being selfish and staying.” The older broke out into laughter, Changkyun looking up at him almost pathetically. 

“That’s not selfish. This is your job, and we’re all friends here. Isn’t it a bit much to quit over something so small?” he reasoned, but the other shook his head.

“No. It is selfish. You just don’t know it yet.” Jooheon froze then, eyes locked on his friend. What was that supposed to mean? 

“I’m closing up,” Kihyun announced as he stepped from behind the counter. “Jooheon, clock out and take this heartwarming reunion elsewhere.” Minhyuk was behind him, mumbling something to Kihyun about trying to be a little more sensitive and less moody. But Jooheon did as he was told, asking Changkyun to wait for him outside before hurrying to clock out and hang up his apron. Kihyun locked the door behind Jooheon on his way out. 

“Anybody wanna go for a drink?” Minhyuk asked once they were all outside. 

“I’m game,” Jooheon said, glancing at Changkyun. “What about you? It’s been a while.” The youngest seemed hesitant. 

Jooheon had a pretty good idea of what really happened now. Changkyun must have had feelings for him, and that was why he tried to leave. He didn’t want get come between Jooheon and Gunhee, but that would never happen. Changkyun was probably experiencing a form of mock bonding like Jooheon had and he felt guilty for feeling the way he did. Or his feelings could be genuine.

Either way, nothing would come of it. He was happy with Gunhee. But he didn’t want things to be awkward with Changkyun. It was inconvenient, but Jooheon wasn’t going to let it ruin their friendship if he could help it.

In the end Changkyun agreed to go, and Kihyun rejected the offer and started to walk away, but was literally dragged along by Minhyuk. They didn’t stay out as late as usual— it was the middle of the week and Changkyun had class the next day— but everything felt normal again. Changkyun seemed to relax a bit after a couple of drinks and Jooheon reveled in the other’s bright smile and bubbles of laughter as all worries and concerns seemed far behind them now. Jooheon was glad to have Changkyun back. He couldn’t have been happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! The next chapter will probably be a short one, but super relevant~


	5. Guilty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY. I AM LITERALLY THE BIGGEST POS. I CAN'T BELIEVE ITS BEEN ALMOST A YEAR SINCE I UPDATED THIS HOT MESS.  
> Ok, so, the past year can eat my ass. It sucked majorly, but I really have no excuse for leaving you guys hanging. This won't happen again. Thank you to everyone who's been leaving kudos and comments in my absence. If it weren't for you guys, this chapter wouldn't be going up today. <3 Sorry if it's more of a mess than the others. I read over it more quickly than usual because I wanted to get it posted ASAP. Hope you enjoy it! Thanks for sticking around and being far more patient than I would have been. ;3;  
> (Also, at the end of the last chapter I said that the next chapter would probably short but relevant; I lied. While relevant, this chapter isn't particularly short, nor is it the chapter I originally planned to upload next. The chapter I originally planned this one to be has been pushed back. It just ain't time. Soon. Just... not yet. ;D)
> 
>  
> 
> OH, I FORGOT TO MENTION. This chapter has a change of POV. For this chapter we are in Changkyun's POV, rather than Jooheon's. Hope this doesn't confuse anyone. <3

The heat of summer was becoming unbearable, but Changkyun was thankful to have a break from his classes. The break from school meant more hours at the cafe. He loved his job, and his co-workers and bosses had become like a second family to him. The tension he had faced nearly two months ago had faded, though he still felt a slight unease when alone with Jooheon. _Guilt_.

Changkyun had tried to distance himself from his older friend, had even reached out to Jooheon’s lover to express his regretful feelings towards this whole mess. Not long after, Jooheon had insisted that the three of them get together for a talk to get some closure on the situation. This was when Changkyun learned that Jooheon was under the impression that the two of them were going through mock soulbonding. Apparently it had been the first time Gunhee was hearing this, too. He had look horrified. Jooheon, misunderstanding his boyfriend’s expression, assured him that everything would be ok and that this was temporary, apologized for not saying something sooner. Gunhee had then looked about how Changkyun had felt; nauseated and on the brink of breaking down.

Changkyun had spoken up then, voice cracking slightly as he attempted to regain his composure. He had explained that he already knew about mock soulbonding and that he, too, believed that to be what was happening. This was only half true though.

Truth be told the first day the younger had worked at the cafe and experienced sensations entirely too similar to soulbonding, he had gone home and done some research on the internet. Mock bonding was a thing, and that was his original assumption as well.

But something wasn’t right. He could feel it. There was something familiar about these feelings, and about Jooheon. The older’s face should have been new to him, but he felt like he recognized it _—_ though, at the time he couldn’t remember where he might have seen him before. And the name _—Jooheon—_ it had sent a shiver down his spine. This wasn’t mock bonding at all.

Surely that couldn’t be the case. How was he to confirm it though? It wasn’t exactly socially acceptable to ask to see another person's mark out of nowhere, and it was considered extremely rude to ask a known hider about their souldate. But these were honestly just excuses. Changkyun was sure that their co-workers would definitely know what Jooheon’s souldate was if he didn’t want to ask the other directly, but he was _afraid_ . Changkyun didn’t _want_ to know.    

The day he had gone home with Jooheon to get out of the rain had started out as just a normal day, and he wished it could have stayed as such. He wished he hadn’t gone with Jooheon, wished he had had the foresight to know what was coming and how simply declining Jooheon’s offer and going back to his own apartment instead could have at least delayed the heartache. He was starting to grow accustomed to the way Jooheon made him feel, and he knew what his boundaries were and would never cross them. If it hadn’t been for the confirmation in Gunhee’s eyes when he saw Changkyun shirtless, he wondered if he would have ever known for sure.

The two had exchanged a brief and silent conversation through their eyes alone. A shocking realization now confirmed, a horrified plea to keep quiet about it because Jooheon was still none the wiser. A wordless apology that could never be enough.

Changkyun tried to leave, tried to do what he felt was the right thing for everyone. Jooheon and Gunhee loved each other. They had made a vow to each other many years ago. How could he break that? How could anyone break that? How could anyone want to?

Jooheon would despise him, or at least he would want to. And perhaps that was the most heartbreaking part of it all; Jooheon would not be _able_ to despise him. There was no escape, no way around it. Maybe if they hadn’t spent so much time together. Maybe if he had figured it out sooner and left early enough before they had bonded so much; maybe he could have at least bought the two of them more time together.

But the end result would always be the same. Fate always had a way, it was impossible to run forever. It was only a matter of time, but Changkyun wished more than anything he could have prolonged it for their sake. But now that they had spent months bonding there was no running away anymore.

Jooheon was his soulmate, and he couldn’t have been more devastated. Nor could he have been more happy, which honestly made him feel more sick than he had ever felt in his entire life.

The time he had spent trying to run away had been miserable, painful. Gunhee had called Changkyun just when he was about to leave for good, fuck school and work, start over somewhere new and far away. He told him that it was ok, begged him not to leave and, voice strained with pain and emotion, said that there was no point. The bonding had already progressed too far and they needed each other. They would both spiral downward into an unending depression and wither away, and Gunhee couldn’t let that happen.

In the end a promise was made that only proved to further turn Changkyun’s already aching stomach. _Stay by his side, but wait. He doesn’t need to know. Please. Just… not yet._

But when? Changkyun dreaded that day, and loathed his heart for longing for it. Still, he was keeping his promise to Gunhee. When the three of them had gotten together to talk Jooheon had been the only one to gain any form of closure. To Changkyun it was only the beginning, and to Gunhee it must have felt like the beginning of the end.

It had felt wrong to let Jooheon continue believing everything would be ok. He wanted more than anything to tell him, to just get it over with. But he stayed true to his word for Gunhee’s sake. He stayed close to Jooheon and maintained a facade of friendship. _Deceit._

 

~.~.~.~.~

 

“Changkyun?” He looked up from the table he was currently cleaning to see Kihyun standing on the opposite side of it, frowning at him in what looked like concern. “Are you ok?” the manager asked with a gentleness that was uncharacteristic for him.

Changkyun nodded and asked, “Why?” as he looked away from the other and back down at the table and continued running the cloth over it.

“Because this is the third time you’ve wiped this particular table down since anyone’s sat at it, and you’ve been standing there cleaning the same spot for about five minutes now,” said Kihyun with a hitched brow and crossed arms. Changkyun’s hand ceased movement and he stared at the table feeling rather lost. He could feel the eyes of customers watching him, hear their curious whispers.

“You don’t look so well today. I think Minhyuk and I can handle the rest of the shift. If we really need the help we can call in Gauel, or Jooheon since he hasn’t worked in a week. I’m pretty sure he got home sometime last night and could probably use the hours. So why don’t you go home and get some rest?”

Changkyun’s throat tightened and his eyes pricked with the threat of tears he bit back, clenching his jaw as he nodded without looking up from the table. His gaze remained downcast even as he moved away from the table and behind the counter to removed his apron and clock out.  

“Sorry,” he muttered as he walked past Kihyun and Minhyuk and left the cafe without another word.

Most days were easy enough. He was usually able to immerse himself in his work at the cafe, and even hang out with Jooheon like normal without thinking too deeply about the twisted situation he was in. In the time since discovering that Jooheon was his soulmate he had managed just fine on a day to day basis, but Jooheon had taken some time off the past week to visit family and the younger was beginning to crave his presence. Bonding withdrawals were unfortunate for any soulmate separated from their other half, and made it more difficult to distract his guilt-ridden mind. As it stood Changkyun had been spending far too much time with Jooheon before the other took temporary leave, which only made the withdrawals more prominent.

He wondered if Jooheon was feeling something similar, probably far more inconvenienced than himself by the confusion and lack of knowing what Changkyun already knew. And then pricked the pangs of guilt again. The man sighed as he walked along the sidewalk, nearly stumbling into the road when his foot slipped off of the curb in his distracted state.

When he got home Changkyun unlocked the door to his small apartment and stepped in, slipping his shoes off and walking towards his bed, only to turn back around with a sigh when he realized he had left the door open. He closed it and moved back to his bed, collapsing onto it and staring up at the ceiling. He wanted to see Jooheon. He _needed_ to see Jooheon.

Changkyun turned over onto his stomach and pressed his face into his pillow, inhaling the mixing scents of his own shampoo and laundry detergent from the pillow case’s recent wash. He turned his head to the side and exhaled with a long groan of frustration as his nose tickled with the phantom scent of a special blend of baby powder that was unique to none other than the man who was currently plaguing his thoughts. Sometimes his brain played cruel tricks on him. There was no reason for Jooheon’s scent to be anywhere in his apartment since the older had never even stepped foot inside, only ever having walked the younger to the doorstep a few times after a _friendly_ outing together. Maybe he was having a stroke. Maybe he wished he was.

Bonding withdrawals could be really menacing at the best of times. Phantom smells and touches, unshakeable depression, longing, dreams you wouldn’t ever want to admit to having, that woke you with a start and left you panting and shaking and _hot_ . Changkyun couldn’t count the number of hours of sleep he had lost over the past week thanks to these _—_ the most vivid dreams probably humanly possible. He closed his eyes and silently begged his brain to give him a break and let him actually rest. It was still early afternoon, the bright sun filling his apartment with its golden light with not a single cloud in the sky to even hope for a little shade for anyone out and about, but Changkyun was exhausted _—_ physically and emotionally _—_ and he didn’t want to be conscious to deal with his feelings anymore.

He needed a mental release, and prayed he wouldn’t wake up with the need of a different kind of _release_ . As he lay in his bed with the sunlight kissing the back of his heavy eyelids, he felt like me may actually be able to get some rest. He felt more relaxed than he had in days, which he assumed was just pure sleep-deprived exhaustion finally taking over. And soon he was drifting off, unable _—_ and equally unwilling _—_ to cling to awakeness.  

 

When he woke, startled by the sound of someone knocking on his door, he rolled onto his back and glared up at the ceiling with a groan. It felt like he had only just closed his eyes, but a glance to the window and the now dimness outside informed him otherwise. It was already evening. He had been asleep for hours, but he didn’t feel any more rested. He was tempted to roll back over and ignore the knocking at his door. Then there was a rattle and click, and it was cracking open slightly, Changkyun bolting up right in his bed.

“Changkyun?” The moment Jooheon’s voice reached his ears the younger felt weak and almost faint.

“Hyung?” He managed to reply weakly, and the door opened a little more as the other’s face came into view as he peeked inside.

“Can I come in?” _No. Hell no. Absolutely not. That’s a really bad idea._

Changkyun nodded and cursed himself internally as the older stepped in and closed the door behind himself. He held up a bag with a smile. “The hyungs said you weren’t feeling well, so I brought you some porridge from the usual place.” Jooheon moved to the small kitchenette and placed the bag on the counter. “I finished your shift and thought I’d come check on you. Were you asleep?”

He nodded again, wishing he could just go back to sleep, but unfortunately feeling extraordinarily more energized now that Jooheon was in his immediate vicinity. His heart raced as the other stepped closer, fought the urge to cling to him when he sat on the edge of the bed and reached a hand out towards him.

“Sorry I woke you. How are you feeling?” Jooheon pressed the back of his hand to Changkyun’s forehead and then his cheek. “You don’t feel warm.”

“I feel better now. I think I just needed some rest,” he replied, gently brushing the other’s hand away and masking the motion with a stretch. “How was your trip?” _Stop talking to him. Get him out of here._

“It was good. My parents were glad to see me, and they even seemed happy to see Gunhee,” he said with a chuckle. “I think they’re finally starting to accept our relationship.” Changkyun suddenly felt as though he was going to throw up. “Took them long enough. We’ve only been dating for over eight years now,” he said, sounding just a tad bitter. “Or maybe they were just being nice because they could tell I wasn’t feeling so good.”

Changkyun’s chest was aching. Jooheon had been affected by their time apart too. He felt a strange mixture of apologetic and excitement at that fact.

“What’s with that look?” Jooheon asked with a laugh. “You look like you’re about to cry.” In all honesty, he was.

“I’m just…” _Sorry. I’m so sorry._

Jooheon sighed and looked away, eyes cast down at the floor.

“Look, I know we haven’t really talked about it much and I think we’d both prefer to keep it that way, but—” Jooheon seemed conflicted, chewing on his lower lip in thought. Chankyun’s eyes focused on the motion and he could almost feel those teeth on his own lips. When the other began speaking again he jumped and felt his face go warm, thankful that Jooheon was still looking away. “This whole mock bonding thing… it will pass. I felt better the second I saw you, and I get the feeling that’s why you’re feeling better now too. For now it feels really good to be around each other, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”

Their eyes met again and now the warmth from Changkyun’s cheeks had spread throughout his entire body and Jooheon smiled softly, seemingly oblivious, or mercifully disregarding. “It drew us closer to each other and I like having you around. You’re my best friend and when all of this mock bonding shit stops I know we’ll still be just as close. We just click, ya know? It’s not all fake.”

Changkyun really was going to throw up. Any second now. _None_ of this was fake, and part of him really wished it was. It felt wrong to keep this from Jooheon, to deceive him.

There was a knot in his throat, a confession he swore to keep to himself begging to be released. This conversation had to end. He needed Jooheon to leave. It would be safer and much more wise to not be alone with him in Changkyun’s apartment, sitting on his bed, mere inches and the slightest falter in self control away from revealing all.

“Yeah,” the younger replied. “You’re my best friend too, with or without the soul _—_ _mock_ soulbonding.” The word burned his tongue like poison. _Lies._ But Jooheon just smiled at him, ever oblivious and unaware.

“Good. Sorry I brought it up. You just looked so lost in your own head and I had a feeling it had something to do with our… situation. Anyway, despite the reason behind it, since we’re both feeling better, wanna hang out for a bit? I didn’t have time to eat lunch before going into work, so I thought we could eat together.” _No can do._ “And you can’t say no because it’s your fault I missed lunch in the first place since I had to take over your shift, and since I went through all the trouble of buying you food and bringing it to you, and if you make me leave I’ll starve the whole walk home and could pass out from hunger.” Jooheon was already up and grabbing the bag from the counter before he was even done talking, Changkyun gaping at him in awe and disbelief. _Fuck._

Clearly the older had picked up on his patterns of avoidance whenever something even slightly significant happened with their soulbonding. If their hands brushed and a spark ran up his arm, if their eyes met and they held each other’s glance for too long, if they had been apart for a little longer than usual and were both painfully obviously much more glad to see each other than they should be, Changkyun would come up with an excuse to bolt. He would vanish for the day to let the tension pass. But this time, when he needed to run probably more than he ever had, he was stuck in place. Jooheon had caught on and wasn’t going to let Changkyun push him away.

“I got you shrimp porridge, ‘cause you like shrimp, right? And I wasn’t sure if you were actually sick or not, so I figured I’d bring something easy on the stomach just in case,” Jooheon explained casually as he sat back down on the bed and handed Changkyun his food. “Feels like it’s still warm.” He pulled out his own container and opened it, the smell of tteokbokki mixing awkwardly with his own shrimp porridge. How the other could eat spicy food in the unforgiving heat of summer was beyond him, but Changkyun simply thanked Jooheon and focused on enjoying his meal.

After a minute or two Jooheon began to speak again between bites, breaking what Changkyun had hoped would be an uncomfortable enough silence to drive the other to eat and leave as quickly as possible. “So, Kihyun-Hyung’s souldate is next week,” he said with a smirk. “He’ll be working, of course. He always works on his souldate. I think he does it on purpose. He acts like he doesn’t really care, but we all know better. Minhyuk-Hyung and I like to tease him about it and he gets really flustered. It’s the only time anyone can ever really mess with him. He’s normally too scary,” he laughed before taking another bite of his tteokbokki.

“So Kihyun-Hyung wants to find his soulmate?” Changkyun asked, trying to imagine the strict and serious man he had come to know, flustered and anticipating meeting his soulmate like anyone else would be. Well, almost anyone.

“Oh yeah. And every year he seems so bummed when it doesn’t happen, so we plan a short holiday and close shop the following weekend where all of us, including Hoseok-Hyung and Hyunwoo-Hyung go to the beach for a couple of days and all focus on having fun and making sure Kihyun-Hyung doesn’t pout for too long, because he’s even scarier when he’s down about something.” Jooheon shivered and chuckled, Changkyun smiling despite himself.

“It’s technically just a tradition for the cafe staff to end the summer with a big beach party, since the boss-hyungs see us as a second family and they like to keep things casual and fun, but they started planning it a little earlier for Kihyun-Hyung. _He_ doesn’t know that, of course. He thinks the yearly dates changed because of convenience or whatever. It’s still close to the end of summer though, so it didn’t make that big of a difference anyway.” Changkyun nodded as he listened and took one last bite of his porridge before setting it on his nightstand.

“That’s really nice. It’s cool how much you guys all care about each other,” he said with a soft smile. Working at the cafe was a different kind of job experience. It was warm and everyone really did seem like a big family.

“You’re one of us now too, you know. I guess this year will be your first time coming with us on the trip. You will be joining us, right?” _I really shouldn’t._

“Yeah. Sounds like a lot of fun.” Changkyun wanted to rip his own tongue out.

“It is. And it’ll be even more fun now that you’re with us.” Jooheon finished off his tteokbokki and disposed of both of their containers. “Well, I should get going. Gunhee’s gonna be home soon. I don’t think we’re on schedule together for the rest of this week, so let’s try to get lunch together or something when we can.”

Changkyun agreed, hiding his reluctance as best he could and finally got out of the bed to see Jooheon out. At the door Jooheon turned and hugged him. It was the most natural motion, as though it were something that they always did when parting ways. He seemed to do it without even thinking about it. Friends hug each other all the time, so it was a completely normal thing to do, but not for them. It was the first time.

The older pulled away almost instantly, light pink dusting his cheeks. “Sorry. I almost forgot about the… yeah. Minimal physical contact until all of this blows over. Guess hugs are a no-go. Sorry,” he apologized again with a nervous chuckle. “See ya.” He turned and walked away looking rather stiff from head to toe, and leaving Changkyun standing frozen and doubting his own heartbeat.

 

~.~.~.~.~

 

Brief as it was, their little embrace had definitely affected both Jooheon and Changkyun. Two days had passed and Changkyun had fumbled his way through work all day today, spilling, thankfully _iced_ coffee down his front, miscounting change for at least three different customers, and dropping a slice of cheesecake on the floor while preparing an order to go. He had been completely unable to focus on his work and was thankful that his shift had ended, taking off the the second he had finished his duties for the day and leaving an exasperated Hyungwon to close up for the night. He stepped out of the cafe just as Jooheon was arriving, clearly there to meet up with the younger as he had offhandedly mentioned that morning through text, despite Changkyun’s _regretful_ and excuseless decline.

“Perfect timing,” Jooheon said. He hurried over to Changkyun, nodding a quick greeting at Hyungwon as the man stepped out, locked the door, and walked past him to head home. Changkyun begged the earth to swallow him whole. He had been doing that a lot lately; wishing for a sudden and permanent escape. But oh, how the night’s shadows casted beautifully across Jooheon’s strong features. The dim lights overhead seemed to shine off of his skin as he got closer and stopped at arm’s length from the younger.

Changkyun remained silent, either to spite Jooheon for blatantly ignoring his decline to hang out tonight, or out of simple tongue tied infatuation. “ Man, you’re a mess. What happened? Hello?” Jooheon waved his hand in front of Changkyun’s face, then sighed. “I know you said you couldn’t hang out tonight, but come on. Summer isn’t going to last much longer and we should take advantage of all this freetime you have.” Changykun’s mind was racing, searching for any way out. The throbbing in his chest promised him a rough night should he decide to go along with Jooheon.

“I… have a date,” he muttered in what he prayed was a convincing tone. Jooheon’s expression became unreadable. This time he appeared to be the one rendered speechless. Changkyun watched him as his brows furrowed together.

“You— Don’t you— I mean, do you think that’s a good idea right now? You don’t think the mock bonding thing will makes things a little complicated?” The older was stumbling over his words and sounded slightly irritated.

“You and Gunhee-Hyung seem to be doing fine, so it might not be that bad. Maybe it’ll even help.”

“Gunhee and I have been together for _years,_ Changkyun. We can work through anything at this point.” Jooheon sounded exasperated now. “But trying to start a new relationship right now doesn’t seem like a smart idea.”

Changkyun bit his lip at the other’s words and tone. He didn’t want to start a fight with his best friend, especially a fight formed over a complete lie. What now? He’d backed himself against a wall with no escape route. How could he fix this situation?

Suddenly Jooheon’s eyes went wide and he straightened up, looking Changkyun up and down as if trying to read him. “This… This person’s not your soulmate… right?” The younger almost choked on his next breath.

“What? No! Hyung, if I met my soulmate, the mock bonding would have stopped. And don’t you think I would have told you something like that?” Changkyun was feeling dizzy, lost in his own lies. He couldn’t keep this up. He needed to end this conversation. “Hyung, I really need to go home and get ready. I’m sorry we can’t hang out tonight. Maybe tomorrow.” He felt bad, even worse than usual. He hated lying to the other, hated the wounded look on Jooheon’s face. He hated the way Jooheon nodded in defeat.

Maybe he should have just hung out with him. He was becoming somewhat of an expert at stuffing down his feelings as of late. It probably would have been fine. Even now, he wanted nothing more than to grab Jooheon, lock their lips, drag him to his apartment to seal the deal, but instead he was pushing the man away as if he didn’t want to see him at all. Maybe he should look into acting in the future.

“Can I at least walk you home? We need to talk about next weekend.”

Changkyun nodded, unable to deny Jooheon any further. He started in the direction of his apartment, Jooheon following close behind and, still sounding less than happy, began explaining that the big trip was happening the next weekend. Kihyun’s souldate was this coming up wednesday, and it was already Saturday.

“The boss-Hyungs must be showing mercy on you and Gaeul, since it’s me and Minhyuk-Hyung that will be working with him. You guys haven’t been around as long, so I guess it’s fair. You guys don’t know what to expect. Kihyun-Hyung’s souldate is probably the most stressful day of the year for anyone working. Maybe if you’re not busy we can meet up after I get off then? I’m probably gonna need a few drinks,” he said, chuckling. Changkyun didn’t miss the slight hitch of hope, almost plea, in Jooheon’s voice.

“Sure. I’ll keep that day open,” the younger replied. His throat felt dry and he was starting to feel a little winded. Was he walking too fast? No, he was actually walking pretty slow, so why was he short of breath?

“Cool. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. The boss-Hyung’s have already booked the hotel we’ll be staying at for the trip. They normally try to pay for everything on their own, but we all like to pitch in and give them some money to help out. Something like this is expensive, and they’re always really good to us. It’s only fair. It’s up to you how much you wanna put in, though. Just bring it into work and give it to your manager sometime next week.”

“Sounds good.” He sounded breathless, slightly husky. It was getting worse. Changkyun felt as if he were sprinting at full speed, rather than leisurely walking. There was a stretch of silence for the next ten or so steps, Jooheon being the one to break it.

“You ok, man?” he asked, now walking at the younger man’s side. Changkyun was practically panting now. It was Jooheon. His voice, his presence. The more he talked, the closer he got to Changkyun, the air was feeling more thick and warm and suffocating by the second. _Don’t look at him. Keep walking._

“Yeah. Just tired.” Changkyun sped up. He was almost home. He just needed to get home, get away from Jooheon, and sleep this off.

They walked in silence now, even as the apartment building came into view neither spoke. Changkyun began to count his steps, his breaths, anything to keep his focus away from the man walking just a couple of steps behind him. At the door Changkyun rushed to pull out his key, hands shaking so badly he almost dropped it. Just as he was about to reach for the lock, just seconds away from solitude and relief, shocking heat erupted from his shoulder where a gentle hand had been placed, Jooheon coming into view, shifting to stand between Changkyun and the door with a very concerned look. Now Changkyun was counting the beats of his heart as it pulsed loudly in his ears.

“Are you sure you’re ok? You look like you’re about to pass out or something. Woah, you’re really red.” The hand moved from his shoulder and to his forehead. They were really close now, Changkyun was becoming increasingly more aware of that fact. “Changkyun, you’re on fucking fire! You’re running a fever.”

He just stared at the other, his vision blurred in the corners, breaths coming out as uneven huffs, and Jooheon’s voice muffled inaudibly. The concern in Jooheon’s eyes grew and Changkyun moreso read his name on the other’s lips than heard it spoken as the hand slipped down to Changkyun’s cheek. Something snapped. Everything snapped. His hand shot up, fingers closing in a tight grip around his friend’s wrist and snatching the hand away from his cheek.

Jooheon’s back hit the door, apparently hard enough to knock the breath out of him, but Changkyun hadn’t meant to use that much force. He hadn’t meant to push him at all, actually. Or had he? He didn’t really know what he was doing at the moment. All logic and thought had gone up in flames.

He was stepping forward then, closing the little distance between them, eyes narrowed and dark, and hands reaching out to fist into his hyung’s shirt. Jooheon seemed frozen, eyes wide with confusion and _fear._ They were inches apart when Changkyun stilled. He could feel the other’s panic paced breath, cool against his heated face. The younger’s tongue peaked out to wet his lips and Jooheon mirrored the motion, visibly swallowing nervously.

“Changkyun?” His voice was barely above a whisper. Changkyun couldn’t hear it anyway. The younger’s head dropped to Jooheon’s neck. His nose grazed the skin over the man’s racing pulse as he breathed in his scent. Jooheon gasped. “Ch-Changky—” he was shaking all over and grasped weakly at the younger’s arms.

Changykun fought _hard_ to regain his senses. He knew where this was going, knew that it was wrong in so many ways. He could tell that Jooheon was struggling with it now too. They had gotten too close, bonded too much. Their bodies were naturally drawn to each other.

And apparently they hadn’t _physically_ bonded enough, in comparison to how much time they had spent with each other. Their bodies wanted _more._ Soulbonding wasn’t usually taken at this slow of a pace. They were fighting against nature itself, and Jooheon didn’t even know it. They needed physical contact, which they had been purposely avoiding, even the slightest touch, and now it was catching up to them.

Even if they fought against it this time, pushed away and exchanged apologies and goodnights, avoided each other the next day, the day after, they were still running out of time. If they didn’t both accept what was happening and give in soon, nature was going to do it for them. And the results of that would be _crushing._ They would both regret it, but a large part of them wouldn’t even be able to regret it. _Just… not yet._

Changkyun bit the inside of his cheek so hard he could taste the metallic tang of blood as he forced himself to push away. He glared at the ground as if it were the cause of all of his strife, panting and trying to clear the haze that had set over his brain. He could hear Jooheon’s trembling breath, quick as his own, almost gasping.

A door clicked open somewhere behind Changkyun and he listened as one of his neighbors stepped out, stopped briefly, then walked past the two in merciful, unacknowledged silence. The younger took a deep, slightly more steady breath and released it in a long sigh before looking up to face his older friend. What he saw had him swaying, almost bringing him to his knees. Jooheon’s hands were covering his face, but Changkyun could see the tears dripping from his chin.

“Hyung…” He panicked. He fucked up. He had hurt Jooheon, scared him, broken his trust. “Hyung, I’m sorry,” his hand reached out to comfort the other, but he pulled it back quickly before it could make contact, backing up a few steps instead.

“It c-can’t—” Jooheon hiccuped in a sob, taking a second to breathe before trying to speak again. “It can’t be this bad,” he finished. Changkyun couldn’t see most of his face, but he could tell that behind his hands, Jooheon’s beautiful features were scrunched up in frustrated despair. “This isn’t normal. This is too strong.” The older dropped his hands and Changkyun could finally see how flushed and emotional the man really was, reddened cheeks wet with tears and eyes scared and shining.

“This is why I’m a hider, Changkyun. You’re my best friend. I love Gunhee. I shouldn’t be feeling this way towards you, but I can’t control it. Neither of us can. And if it’s this strong with mock bonding, the thought of my real soulmate _terrifies_ me.”

“Hung, I’m—”

“I don’t blame you. Stop apologizing and just… I’ll see you tomorrow, or something,” Jooheon muttered, wiping his face and stepping to the side so that the younger could finally unlock his door. Changkyun quietly stepped forward to do just that.

“I’m not completely stupid, you know,” Jooheon said, the younger freezing with his hand on the doorknob. He turned to look at his hyung, feeling as though his heart had ceased completely.

“I know you don’t have a date tonight. You just didn’t want to be around me because you knew something like this was going to happen.” Changkyun felt his heart start beating again, thankful that that had been the lie he’d been caught in. But Jooheon wasn’t stupid. He was going to find out, one way or another, and the repercussions would be much worse if Changkyun or Gunhee didn’t tell him soon.

“I’m sor— “

“Thanks for trying to protect me. From now on, just be honest with me. I’ll understand.”

Changkyun nodded in agreement, but once again felt guilty, knowing he couldn’t be _completely_ honest with the other. They exchanged somewhat awkward goodnights and Changkyun stood halfway in his door, watching as Jooheon walked away, and biting back the impossibly strong urge to go after him.

He lingered a moment longer even after Jooheon was completely out of sight before stepping inside his apartment and shutting the door. With a long sigh he leaned back against the door and sank down, hugging his knees to his chest and resting his forehead on them. Changkyun was really beginning to understand why hiders exist, and what it is they’re really hiding from. This was a mess. Jooheon deserved to love and be with whoever he wanted to, and having a predetermined soulmate was completely unfair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there ya have it. A year's wait just for that. Tbh, half this chapter has been sitting written on my Google Docs the whole damn time. I just couldn't seem to finish it for some reason. Got a lot planned and I'm just trying to time and execute it all right.  
> Thank you so much for reading! I'm not gonna make any empty promises about updating again quickly, but it sure af isn't gonna take me another year. ^^


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